There come's a time, where i heed a certain call.

JAN 2012!!!

2012-01-02T17:23:00.000+08:00

JAN 2012!!!

So productive....

3-5 PM ...Watch Green Hornet in Cybercafe.. Just realize it was such a cheap Option. RM 5 for a movie. haha.

5-7 PM ...Basketball.. All the Uncle call uncle play, so uncle go..

8-12 PM ...Free Labour at BLACKBALL, Sri Petaling. ( i could prepare all the desserts they have now. So easy. )

12 - 4 PM ... Mahjong with my primary schoolmate, Elizabeth,Elaine,TzeLiang. and i lost... CCB. Was suppose to buy them Indomee, but it was Vice-Versa. Dont care, still got my free supper.

4.30AM to 6 AM ... Tak boleh tidor cause too full...

6 AM onwards. Oh. Life is just Great. YNWA.

An Article worth Reading ( A strange twist of Fate by Xandra Ooi )

2011-11-30T17:29:00.000+08:00

RECENTLY, I read an article that blew me away.
Monique van der Vorst from the Netherlands is a 27-year-old silver-medal winning Paralympian who had been confined to a wheelchair for 14 years.

She had been an athletic kid who excelled in tennis and hockey when a routine ankle operation resulted in nerve damage and left one leg paralysed from the hip down.

Most people would consider it a terrible tragedy — to lose the use of a leg because of an accident in the operating room.
It wasn’t reported whether Monique, at 13 years old, mourned the loss of her leg, but it was clear that after the incident, she took up handcycling and competed nationally and internationally.
She won six European and three world championship titles, reported The Sunday Telegraph.
I gaped in horror when I read that in 2008, Monique was hit by a car. Her spinal cord was damaged and left her completely paralysed from the waist down.
Anyone would have thought it incredibly tragic and unfair that life could get so much worse for someone so young and brave.
Yet, later that year, Monique won two silver medals at the Beijing Paralympic Games.

I was sitting there on the couch, reading this incredible piece of news and feeling in absolute awe of this woman who is only a year younger than I am.
Then I got to the part where she got into another accident, in 2010. She was training on her handcycle when another cyclist hit her hard.
Again, she was back at the hospital.

And what can only be described as a miracle happened — she started feeling sensations in her legs.
Over the next few days, Monique was able to stand. Within a few months, she was able to walk.
“After an accident in 2010, my body started to change. After a long and hard rehab period, I am back on my feet again. For me, a new competition has started now,” she wrote on her website.

It was reported that Monique has swapped her hand-bike for a regular model and has started racing competitively.
She told The Sunday Telegraph that she does not expect to be strong enough to take part in the 2012 Olympics in London, but her goal is to cycle for the Netherlands in 2016 — as an able-bodied cyclist.
At this point, I could not help but think, “Wow. If it was me, I would never have been able to overcome such odds with courage and spirit.”

Then I remembered something that my aunt had once said when someone told her they admired her ability to raise a child on her own while working and that they couldn’t possibly do it.

“How do you know you won’t be able do it?”

Anger, frustration, tears and despair — these are emotions that many of us associate with the inability to do something.

Feelings and emotions are part of being human, but they are not what define us.

For example, someone may feel inadequate that he can’t make more money, but it does not make him an inadequate person.

One may feel frustrated at not being able to walk, but it does not make you a frustrated person.

The one thing that defines us is our mind. Sometimes, we make the mistake of thinking that our minds want something when it is our emotions that shout for it.

When we allow our emotions to take over our minds, we often think of ourselves as the victim.

When we see ourselves as the victim, it is only natural to helpless. Instead of trying our best to get out of a despairing situation, we think that we deserve better.

After trying briefly, we get even more upset that the situation has not turned around. It’s like saying “Why is life so unfair? It’s not like I didn’t try!”

I do not think Monique van der Vorst saw herself as a victim when she was paralysed. And if there ever was a secret to achieving great things, Monique probably had it down when she wrote on her website:

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude, but don’t complain…”

When we complain about something, it means that our minds have not found a solution to the problem, or that we have not overcome it.

If we’re complaining about the same thing day after day, it means we’re dwelling on it. When we are living in the past, we are not taking full advantage of the present.

I do not think for a moment that it was easy for Monique to overcome her emotions and strive to achieve what most would consider impossible.

I am sure she had moments where she felt like quitting. I am sure there were times where she gave in to her emotions and wept at the pain and unfairness of it all.

If you are climbing a steep and treacherous hill, there will be moments where your shoes will get caught in rocks and you’ll stumble. Moments where you feel so tired you have to stop and catch your breath.

If you are with a group of people climbing this hill, you will see some turning back the way they came, thinking that there is no way they would be able to get to the top.

You will see some simply stopping, happy that they have managed to climb this far but do not feel like they need to go further.

Some will rest for a while and trudge on. They will fall and get up. When it rains, they climb slower or wait out the storm before heading upwards.

All three kinds of people are like you and me, normal human beings who make our own choices in life.
When it comes right down to it, it matters little how good your shoes and climbing equipment are, and sometimes, even how experienced a hill climber you are, because the power of the mind overrides any physical and emotional challenge or pain.

People who achieve the unbelievable have incredibly strong minds, which they train and exercise conantly.

If we do not allow our emotions and ego to control our mind, we are never paralysed. We will never be the victim; nor will we be helpless.

Towards the end of the article I was reading, Monique said in the interview:

“Do I believe this is a miracle? I don’t know. I do believe there is something.”

“But I don’t believe you can sit back and wait for miracles. You have to believe in yourself.”

反省

2011-11-18T01:56:00.000+08:00

是时间反省了, 够了.

Moving Forward

2011-11-16T00:19:00.000+08:00

Moving forward, forget the past, embrace the current and look to the future.

As much as i hated it, it just got to happen and i understand fully its beyong my control. I would really love that if it doesn't happen the way it did. well, at least, at the very minimal i could gauge what is expected and the next move will be more pleasant instead of unnecessary stress involved.

Set a goal. Achieve it. Be Grateful and Happy about it.

Messages & Reaction

2011-11-13T00:43:00.000+08:00

How bad a message can be?

It can be really bad when it is not communiated properly, people often fall prey to messages which are incorrectly interpreted.

Consider me as one of the victim.

I'm not a good intepreter of messages. I often confuse and make a mess out of messages that meant no harm and straight forward. It was perhaps my instinct or my need for perfect message, yet i do not always send one that people understand.

Reacting on certain repsonses can be awful as well when you aren't aware of it. and certainly you need to learn from it. Embrace the mistake and make sure it never get repeats the 2nd, 3rd 4th etc etc etc time.

I personally made a terrible mistake by not able to intepret properly and overeacting. I'm gonna bring a small review with me to bed. i certainly do not repeat this small but hurtful action and mistake.

Good Nite people.

09 Nov 2011

2011-11-09T23:58:00.000+08:00

I cant recall, when was the last time i wrote this email.

A rainy day today, and it has been like that since the 2 days i came back to Penang from my Core Leave.

So many things happened and it certainly caught me off guarded. I am doing nothing but planning and planning. They say you dont plan, you will fail. But What if the Plan Fail? That will certainly be a Big Awful Thing to happen to me.

Failure leads to Success.

That is what i live for.

Learning From Others.

2011-07-24T23:58:00.000+08:00

When we were kids, we were thought to learn.
Learn to walk, run, eat.

Then we move on to teenage. we were again, thought to learn
Learn to Study, Learn to behave, Learn to be independent.

Then we hit adult Stage, we were again, told that learning never has its limits.

But most of us stop on adult stage when people say we should learn. We started to tell people
that we know most of the things. Or mostly i will say in my own situation.

Always assume that life is so pretty much simple that it should not be complicated. Often let slip of what shouldnt be happening, breaking promises, trusting the wrong person, getting at the very wrong end of people, misreading what will be happening in the future and etc etc.

How i sometimes wish that i could turn back time. Just for a short while, amend what happen and never look back. But it is something deemed impossible, not mentioning that it would not happened.

I just hope all this thing end asap. I've had enough. I cant move on like that. It keeps lingering.

And i am starting to go back to infant stage. Where i wish i could learn again. and learn from others.

01/07/2011

2011-07-01T23:26:00.000+08:00

What another Hectic Week it has been...

It was not long ago when i was in PAHANG, then Penang for a day, then Kelantan In and Out the next day. .Then to Ipoh. Then to KL. The whole interval was Crazy. The schedule, inhuman, the Feeling and Spirit, Devastating.

It was not long ago i tell myself i shouldn't have such a crazy schedule, but it is just unfortunate that due to some issue, it was not in the plan and therefore i can say it was all last minute confirmation and preparation.

Of course, with work, i still always try to find time and spend time with my love ones, they are one thing i will never neglect, and i constantly says or write it to prevent myself from forgetting it. I must say, i thoroughly enjoyed quite a good days of *free* time even though i was tied up with a lot of stuff and things to do. Was constantly paying attention to my BB, mind wanders off to see what i can prepare for the next week, what can be tackle, what are the strategy, how to prevent myself to be in big trouble and of course, securing business.

Now, its much terrible when u know that you are running short of time and there is nothing much u can do and u feel like tat u needed more time to do it. To be able to get what u want. ( and i presume that is what Poor People thing) because Rich people tends to have more time than usual and i will really like to learn a few tricks or two to.

Well, at least now, everything is still under control, or so i think it is. Just got to persevere, in everything. and sometimes people just don't understand what are you doing. Parents or relatives, or whoever, they always able to find fault in You, sometimes even after u have given your advice. or being Adviced. and i just hate that feeling. Totally.

Well, my mind is pretty stuck much now. Its getting late. and i promised to be in bed before 12. Well, that is because i need to be in Penang tmr. Well done Louis.

Shall write again. Good night world. Sweet dreams Cloud.

Hectic Week

2011-06-27T10:33:00.000+08:00

It has been a crazy crazy crazy rushing week.. Fact that I got last minute
Appointments, staff trips that I couldn't turn it down, and plans that was Preppanned muchuch earlier...

Yesterday I was in KL, tired after a trip back from pahang. Now, here I Am,
In penang, not mentioning that I will have to be at KL tonight and Kota baru tmr at noon.
I just hope that I don't wake up one day and realizing.. What day is today?

This new job is fine. Is good. But often, I have to work Alone.
I can't afford not to look at my BB .. Or I will not be able to attend to urgent emails
Also, not close to the operation staff where I am so used to be4. Gives me
a first hand of contact and get things issued out fast..

Well, there is an old saying, " where there is a will, there is always a way"..

But now, I'm jus pure tired. Mayb attending the staff trip wasn't such a good idea after all...

12/06/2011

2011-06-12T11:12:00.000+08:00

Gosh, Sleepy Day...

It has been a while since i log in and start writing here. Partly due to my pack schedule and constant/partially travelling around that i am always deprived of my laptop because i cant bring it anywhere.

I was dissapointed yet glad for a few things that happen along the way when i was absent from here.
Oh, and extremely happy about one moment in particular. Savouring it in and all the TLC will be hers now.
Never to perform whichever action that makes her unhappy. Bottomline is i want her to be happy.

A few disappointment that came along the way was the plan for 1utama Stores is going up in smoke soon. I cant believe what happened! i wasnt told till the things was finalised and it caught me off guarded, especially so much effort, anticipation, time was put into it. It now looks like a dream only, when it i thought it was gonna happen. Lapse into a short moment of depression and the anger to kill, but at least what we could do now is to wait till monday for the verdict and hopefully it will turn out on our favor. Or i will just really have to blame it to my bad luck.

Its a sunday morning. i hope she is having a good dream. I Will always be there for you. I promise.

Fully Utilize

2011-05-06T11:30:00.000+08:00

Since i have moved to Penang, it has been like a roller coaster ride, everything is moving so fast and i barely have time to catch a breather. Well, not exactly all if i choose to be.

Sometimes, time manangement is so important, Planning is so essential to get everything done. IMplementing it plays another important role. Everything is Important. Not including some private time i need.

It really takes passion and appreciation to be good at what you do. Without it, moving with it blindly will only make matter worst. That is what i learn. Not to fully emphaszie that i am enjoying my time in penang, but i came here with a purpose. To pursue what i need, not what i want. But, i stil think is better to go to what i want. Need only satisfy a shiort period, whereby want will pro-long and keeps me motivated.

M getting drenched out every single day, Trying to fulfill all the schedules that is ahead and trying to fit my time and utilizing at the optimum level. Well, it is definitely tiring, but the learning curve is so steep that with no effort put in there will be no result.

Speaking more, i always remind myself to juggle time between working and family, as they matter to me most and this level of time. I appreciate them more than i appreciate myself.

Going forward, i wish everyone out there all the best, if there is any trouble, please do feel free to look for me. i will try and give u a solution regardless whether it is advisable or not.

26/4/2011

2011-04-26T01:56:00.000+08:00

Good Morning to 26/4/2011.

A day to remember and forget was yesterday, 25/4/2011.

Practically, i had to take a flight up to Terengganu for a meeting, then back to KL and then back to Penang this morning...

I complained about the funny flight schedule. Morning flight, NIght flight back, how worse can it be? wasnt there any other flights? well, apparently, there isnt. the FIREFLY styles...

Well, living with it was bad enough when the meeting ended at 12, it was a looooong and horrible wait till 7, and getting a message informing the passengers that the plane will be delayed from 9pm to 11pm. Oh wow and oh so great... It was another additional wait...

Then another announcement rang out at 10.45, the plane will arrive at 11.30. Another sweet delay, in my mind, i was really considering to spend my time in the airport, since it will be less than 5 hours be4 i depart back to Penang. gosh! .

A day to live again tomorrow. and hope for the best.

Yaawn

2011-04-19T00:44:00.000+08:00

Now, it has been 2 weeks im here.

Generally.. i do not know where am i yet.. everything is still so blur as at this moment. Nothing seem concrete, i guess that is what they say, STARTS from scratch.

i actually has a lot and a lot to write. but suddenly, im here and i am stuck and not knowing where and what to write. seemingly bad if i am facing such situation i presume.

Let me see, tonight i write about myself. What do i see in myself.

I see.. a young punk. Still growing Up.
I see , a person who plan and keep trying to work harder and harder and harder...
I see, a person, who is completely a MORON.
I see, a kid who is trying to improve.
I see, a PERSON.. I see. MYSELF, I see. JUST LOUIS.

Another Oh So Boring Saturday.

2011-04-09T23:41:00.001+08:00

It is another Saturday.. Another One Wasted.. Time Flies..

I spend muh whole day watching TV... which i dont usually even do on weekends when im back there in KL!

GOsh!!!!

N now i am all alone here.... .eating, watching, typing..

I think i need to start dancing class. haha

April 8.

2011-04-08T01:24:00.000+08:00

The Law of Hateness and DespiseNess....

Louis Kheng,

Be a horrible man, a terrible man, TIME to change. U are too nice.. always think of other ppl.
only by changing u can be strong and powerful.

Nice

2011-04-06T12:40:00.000+08:00

I've had enough of being nice, no way I will be able to be nice anymore because I certainly don't think it is worth it at all .

I grew tired of being good to everybody, never questioning, n I guess that is why I'm alwYs nice, Tats all.

Horribly enough, I despise everything around me now. At least if Im suffering from chronic memory loss, I do not need to consider what is happening around me. I could just easily forget things and then not worried about them.

Yahoo! Freedom at last! Fuck y'all!

The No's of everything...

2011-04-01T00:27:00.000+08:00

No idea, No Direction, No Reason, Lost, Dont know what to do.

That settles for me for now. Smone gave me this Chinese Term *wu Li Tou Xu* N voila, i think it fits perfectly into me suddenly. I have no idea how it got into my mind. But impressively it did leave a mark in my bloody brain.

So i have to figure out what happened. And what can happened.
My mind is not currently even functioning the way it should be. Deprived of focus.

FOCUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOUIS KHENG!

What do u use your resources for?

2011-03-29T22:30:00.000+08:00

Me ?

Family,
Then Friends

Simply put it that way, but sometimes people just dont appreciate it. Then they start complaining they dont get this, all they can tell is sorry la. i plan it, but it didnt turn out the way i want it. Im just too busy.

I think Time is how u manage it, how much i am wasting my time, i know how am i getting on with it. I'm unfortunate to tell myself that i am pretty much in time management and being focus. Because i wnat everything, and i think that is one of the reason that i dont get to do what i want. Not mentioning now that i have to start taking supplments to replenish. Jeez. /

I should settle down, and work towards what i really want., but i dont seem to be able to stop at one place. i need someone, or somebody to tell that to me or tell me to be there.. someone i find special, be it m/fm. but at this particular point i dont see yet. I hope there will be where i will take everything said to heart.

I had a fairly reasonable day today. A rainy day, travelled to JURU, made some new friends, and came back to the PGH branch. Time flies, now i understand, what does it be like a family man even tho i am not married . All i do is i go to work, then buy my own dinner and head back to the hotel. Eat myself, switch on the tv and radio and have my lappie tuned up for me to write and log in to see what is happening in the world.

Life is not fully lived my dear boy. I need to do better.

4 Pillows, 2 TV, and a King Size Bed

2011-03-28T23:00:00.002+08:00

If anyone could just understand how i feel now.

I have nothing much to write today. Its all up there. All in 1 title.

4 Pillows, 2 TV, and a King Size Bed.

27/03/2011

2011-03-27T22:34:00.000+08:00

Time is Short.

Really Short. And i want everything fast. Maybe too fast. Maybe im demanding,

I m trying to build, and i really hope i build an empire one day. See Me Go.....

Effort to boost memory power..

2011-03-26T07:42:00.000+08:00

I have to something now that I know my own condition, gonn have to constantly involve myself in activities to keep my big fat brAin awake !!!

So now, I'm at a treasure hunt!!! Hahaha virgin hunt !!! Then again , I only qualify to be the navigatOr fOr now, who cares really? Hunting time!!!

Biggest fear prove right...i

2011-03-24T22:14:00.000+08:00

Now, i have been so occupied with my new post tat I really didn't have sometime to pen down a few things that R happening on me....

Nevertheless, judging on wat is happening on me, i decided to go to the Chinese medical to check whether I M reAlly suffering from memory lapse...

I AM

Fuck, well, all I can be console about is that he says Tat luckily I realize it fast before it gets out of control.... I was prescribe some medicine, apparently I was overusing the brain... Hmmmmm mu ahahaha I am???

Well, next thing I can do .. Is to keep reminding myself to not to use so much of my brain juice!! Aloha mr. Kheng!!!

The worst enemy is always yourself, I guess now, time to face my worst sworn enemy inside the big fat brain of mine....

aiyo

2011-03-17T00:20:00.000+08:00

Susah la jadi orang sometimes. . . buat ini tak betul, buat itu tak betul...

nak lucky pun tak boleh,... and some people just have all the luck beside them and they dont seem to see it. all they do is just tengok tengok and let it pass. be it good or bad.

Well, all i can say is... WORK hard on your part, never compare too much, and i am very sure everything will work well!!!!!!! JIa YOu!! Zai Jia You!!!

A day not to be forgotten....

2011-03-16T02:00:00.000+08:00

Urppp!!!!!

I feel so fucking itchy!! haha.. as in itchy on my leg, as my shingles are heading towards recovery stage, and i have not been *gai* haoing, i think its really.. horrible.

I was in training for the whole day, whole morning. Hrmm... met a guy.. totally.. like whoa!!! ahaha.. good guy i must say.. cheerful and bublly.. over bubbly!! even got a smack on my butt from commenting! crazy fella!!! i think my friends would love him, a little sot sot him.. but should be a great guy nonetheless.....

then, erm... say, met a CIO of HSBC, totally down to earth and humble guy.. millionaire i could say.. freaking freaking humble. . . .im so gonna be at where he is ... but slightly faster...

Now, the most impressive night of all, so i thought, i was gonna go have tea with a friend of mine. But the fella not free... but i benefited in another way.. HOW ? hahaha

By going dinner with ROB!!

1) Scallop surrounded by Broccoli, ( muh favourite vegetable )
2) Fish Maw!
3) Steamed King Prawns!
4) Marmite King Prawns!
5) Steamed Tin Gai! Frog if u wanna know what is it
6) Bamboo Lala!! the biggest i have ever seen!!! as big as my palm!!!!!crazy!!
7) Sweetest, nicest steam PATIN fish.. Yummie.... lots of collagen!!!
Drumrolll........
8) Spider CRAB!!! in 2 flavours.. salted egg and steamed!! Gosh.... i only took a few, i was starting to feel nausea..
Dessert was DURIAN and watermelon.... and there. My dinner.

p/s i had my first HUTT of durian in 2 years... not too bad.. it was the Mao San Wong! =) and lots of watermelon of course.....

250 Post.

2011-03-15T00:13:00.000+08:00

Im reaching there. the quarter of CEnTURION post....

I haven been able to do this for the past 3 days as i was just too busy tied to the training course i register and etc etc. when i came home it was already much pretty late...

I learnt a lot during the whole coaching thing, iut mayb expensive, which actually it is FUCKING expensive.. but i think its time to start something different. Im always open to ideas. I retain the old ones. but then venture into the new ones...

life is getting tougher as days goes by and my dream of being a millionaire is getting more visible. I am driven to reach there. Despite all the troubles or whatever sad or bad condition i will face.. here i will come. My million. Please wait for me and dont let me go.

OH yea..... Time to give up everything and Start everything again!!

Tsunami Again.. 11-03-11

2011-03-12T01:23:00.000+08:00

A Gloomy Day in the morning.. Only the lembapness in the air... Good for those who wish to be in the bed whole day.. and bad for those who drag themselves out of the bed...

It was pretty much normal routine... Till its just routine. Then 2pm came the shocking yet choking news... JAPAN got hit double whammy.. the EarthQuake and TsuNami....

and to me, OMG.

2012 is approaching. haha. Well, on a more serious note, my condolences to the Japanese out there, im sorry that this has to befall your country. Learn from it, pick yourself and move on. Everything happens for a reason, whether you like it or not. At this point of time, no matter how different you are from any japanese, you are just one of us. One of the normal human being that is living on this earth. We pray for You. As you must be strong yourself.

I myself is tired. Till now. But i decided to treat myself... went for a lovely massage. totally nice. at least it gives my brain a good time to relax and recharge the memory.

Nevertheless.. i have to attend course tmr. and so long for now.

也许我太过天真，以为奇迹会发生~ ...我以后不要再那么笨就好了~ ♥

2011-03-11T01:49:00.000+08:00

Had a looong day today, Getting everything done from here and there..

Went to Lunch with my Piew Jie, she's in trouble, i hope her the best, wish her get out the shit as trouble..
Went Pasar Malam, So long haven visit ! the feeling was so different.. so different..

Someone told me she believe Fate, I listen and kept quiet, hrmmn.. mayb i shuld also, but i know without any action, fate or not fate also bullshit. but then, not all happen the way u wish it happen..

Thinking Back, Maybe i was Naive, I Really Thought Miracles do Happen.. Now Looking Back, Next time i never want to be like that stupid then good enough lor..... It's always i thought,, i thought. now i thought..

I never was myself. Now i know why.

The Fact is, i dont give a Shit about U.

2011-03-10T00:51:00.000+08:00

Just how you thought that given other people compliments they deserve, when the truth is. it was never worth it. neither deserve it.

Had a few conversation today, looks like despite of being at the most cautious mindset at all times, there is still flaw to different perception and interpretation of judging people. and HOW true. HOW true that turn out to be.

I am getting sick and tired of all this kind of SHIT. no one out there is fucking sincere. Everyone has their own agenda, with a strong intention to do betray, acting selfish, or even backstabbing. . or probably, doesnt even have a knack what are they doing and often confusing themselves and have no great idea what they have just accidentally say, or not chosen the right word to say. or even being contradicting where there is no fact or common sense at all. But nonetheless, like they always say. it is a DEMOCRACY world. everyone has their own mindset.

i have always defended what i think or perceive good, but now i realize there is no such thing as fairness, we are out for survival, and the game play is to destroy whoever it's in the path, with no mercy.

The truth will always only reveal if there is a relationship. if there is no, there is never a harmony. Putting everything aside, there is still true relationship, but nonetheless, rare. Its always about understanding, being *trust*worthy, honestly, all the beautiful yet weak words.

i never know when i will stumble again one that i can consider full sincere, or even truthful, where i could start a relationship, any relationship. because, i think i myself is changing, and the Fact is, i dont even give a SHIT about U or myself!

Enough is Enough. I think i should start planning my holidays again. Who want free holidays? my treat =0

oh btw,

2011-03-08T23:17:00.000+08:00

Happy INTERNATIONAL WOMEN DAY!!!

ALL women should dress in PURPLE inner wear! PURPLE dress! and whatever its PURPLE!!

Thought For The Day

2011-03-08T23:15:00.000+08:00

Never Feast too much on Pills and Medicine... It has side effects...

Gosh, how i wish that i don't need to write this. I have finished my medicine for my super SNAKE, now i can seriously feel the side effect of it.. sore legs and sore back.. SHIT!! i need my healthy legs and back back!! To do diving, to run, to hope around. and most importantly to move forward.

Well, at least i could take into consolation that the migraine is getting lesser.. huhu. still hurts once in a while, but its still good...

My thought of the day... after thinking and thinking and thinking... My thought are THINKING. Day THINKING.

Had a pretty E-resourceful day today.. STuck in the company whole day doing E-Learning. and i cant even fast forward or skip. learn about fraud, money laundering, solliciting, phising, whatever sing also can do... adhering to the rules and regulations... wahlauehz.... i think i lost quite a number of memory power there. But if i dont rememebr i wouldnt even mind!!

Best part of the day was i gotten a free travel bag which i think its really nice.. even tho its corporate bag and not an LV bag, a personal laptop from the company. err... wait.. rephrase.. COMPANY laptop. LoLx! hahaha... but it was nice. and i got some sounding for my dressing. says that i need to dress more Professionalist and not the young punk... ==.==' i think im still the young punk. Just a hidden young punk =)

Well, the day was only focused and the computer screen. . . . And its finally ended.

By Giving, You help other people day Brighter. . .

2011-03-08T00:36:00.000+08:00

Breath in Breath out...

Was dragging myself out of the bed this morning.. it was still dreadful. Awful. I touch the back of my head and
it still hurts, the inside of the brain still aching, i guess its the brain juice that is starting to flow... let it flow..
Look down on my leg N wishing that the scars will move away soon. The leg looks awful, i regain strength on the leg, but the joint still hurts... i didnt know SNAKE could hurt so much. . . even went to east and west doctor just to seek cure. No one could do it instantly. All they said was time that i need....

On the more bright side.. im @live! =)

Went to the office this am, jsut the normal routine that i do my job. It is just so complacent. I needed a change and the change has been thrown to me. For the past 4 years i was here. i have to admit, they treat me really well, gave me all the flexibility. Maybe too much. and its really time to clamp it down. Start focusing and not moving around too much. I made too much time. Too Much free time i took from them. Most of it to do things i love. To meet people i love. but yet also lost tons of things that i couldn't find anymore. Things that will never come again, or even cross path. But yet, i still believe, by GIVING, i will help make other people day brighter. even i do not get anything in return.

At this moment that i am writing, i am still feeling the throbbing pain, how i wish that it will just fade away and not keep bothering me. Even swallowing Vitamins hurts. Baka!! i cant believe i need 2 cups water to swallow 6 pills where i could do it with half a cup last time. Jeeezzzz!!!

i believe, There is a TIME, where we will heed a certain call.

HSBC. a new start. a fresh start. Watch me GO!

7/3/11 continued ...

2011-03-07T00:58:00.000+08:00

ohz, and not forgetting...

one of my GOALS..... ADVANCE PADI DIVING LICENSE!!

Go SIPADAN!!!!

The license must really fall into my hands by this year. I DONT CARE.

7/3/11

2011-03-07T00:57:00.000+08:00

Judgment Day.

Urgghh... My head is still very muc hurts, the throbbing pain its constantly there. its so hard to shake it off. Please please move away...

Well, To Day i will end everything for the past few years. at least leave it and try to move on. It's always about moving forward. Isn't it.

I practically spend this 2 days in 1utama MPH book store. it was like my library. I just took a few books, went to the MRC lounge and started reading alone there. How often i can surprise myself that i could actually do that when it was last time, i will prolly choose to spend time with some other people, making other people happy. Putting effort in doing. Now that it seems. So far. I guess i have to walk a certain path before i could do that again.

Books now to me is like medicine to my soul. I wanna absorb as much knowledge i can in the books and start applying it. I think i wasted too much time. To some other ppl, i prolly had what i can say, unimaginable with what i have achieve this far. But to me, i think i am way behind of some people, and there is lots of catching up to do.

My body is starting to recover from the bad SNAKES! bad snakes i meant, really bad one, i am feeling healthier, which give me more reason that i shouldn't always stay up late at night doing nothing. All i needed was time management. I use to set apart a certain time for people i cared, love, enjoyed spending time with. used to. Mayb i will again in the future, but as at current moment, well, i dont know. GUess sometimes u really dont wanna put in effort anymore when things doesn't happen. Change for the better one. never regret. Only remember =) I myself is turning into some1 i don't know. I'm just trying so hard to achieve something in my life. at least if i get a wife next time, i wouldn't want her to suffer. Sufferings are bad for health.

I had what i want now, at least i could say, free of debts,a few plans that are falling into places, but im still working towards that dream. The dream that i could give my love ones a better life. i just need to manage my finances. Not that i have a lot. But i am always working towards that amount .. and to figure out ways to sustain it rather than just short term earnings.

Lovely day. i will say, full of activities, even tho i must admit it was half a day in MPH, and another half wasted having dinner and supper with friends from Kiara, DJ and i dont know who.

Good nite. "Yawn"

Memory Lapse

2011-03-05T12:07:00.000+08:00

I cant believe i am writing this, seriously, i will try and revive everything i forgotten and i will write everything down here, what happened, what did not, and what did.

I went to the Clinic today, i wasn't feeling very well, my head was constantly throbbing with unnecessary headache. and i had some funny looking rash on my Thigh. It wasn't pleasant. I could only tell myself, I'm in trouble, and i need to consult a medical practitioner.

So i went to the DOCTOR. How glad, i was to see her, she explain a few things, put in in a very funny way of explaining, which i enjoyed a lot. .haha. but it wasnt all rosy, she told me that this infection will come and strike me back once in a while, and could result. in a memory lapse if its too severe. HOLY. she said sometimes you might not recall what happen. or who you know. you know you know the person, but you might find it hard to recall what happened. ahaha.. no SHIT! sounds like im in a movie, well, of course,
me being me, im sure that wont gonna happen. I wont let it happen and i am gonna be totally fine. or i hope i am.

So the doctor gave me an extremely high dose of antibiotics.. Uhuu.. this is bad, i'm losing my appetite and now she is giving me this. This will certainly hurts. my whole body was aching before i see her, now it aches more when i see the medicine prescribe to me.

Well, at least i LIVE to see another day!

Feeling the world of pain

2011-03-04T23:14:00.000+08:00

I will start writing back here.

Cant believe that i am starting right now.

I am in a fucking bad condition. What a sweet day to start writing again.. i'm in pain. Fuck.

i cant believe i'm actually battling against this virus.. urggh... i hope i win. or they say, i can go BYEBYE.
haha.. if i BYEBYE. then really BYEBYE.

Lets pray for now.. Amitabha, that i live long enough to feel the joy, to see the joy and to have joy.

4.39am. The insomia time.

2010-11-07T04:49:00.000+08:00

I wasnt able to put myself to sleep .. not yet till now. and i cant seem to figure out why is this happening to me. But watever i think im going to pen down here. its out of my subconsious mind..

The world stop spinning around me today. Today i understand something. Something that mayb i am lacking.

The difference between a CHildren and Adult.

Children = Children are the ones that knows exactly what's going on in the world. they SEE more than adults,
BELIEVE in more, are honest and will always, ALWAYS let u know where we adults stand...and the learn much more, and far more quickly BECAUSE ? they are open minded.

As Adults...we think we know it all, they grow up and forget so easily and instead of opening their minds and developing it, they choose what to believe and what not to believe... You cant make a choice on things like that, you either believe, or you dont. That is why we starts to learn slower... Adults have no interest in the extra, But its the EXTRA, that makes life.. - Cecelia Ahern.

4th Nov 2010

2010-11-05T02:47:00.000+08:00

i dont feel like writing anything today. Im just gonna go copy some shit and paste it here.. and see whether it reflects correctly...

Give me 5 min...

K. done, found something that all my friends always say .. LOVE . . .

爱没有合不合适，只有珍惜不珍惜！！

刚搬进这个房子的那天，她整理完全部的东西，最后拿出一个非常精致的玻璃瓶，对他说道：“亲爱的，3个月内，你让我每哭一次，我就往里面加一滴水，代表我的眼泪。要是它满了，我就收拾我的东西离开这房子。”

　　男人不以为然，有点纳闷：“你们女人也太神经质了吧！就这么不信任我么，那还有什么可谈？我让你搬过来和我一起生活，是为了照顾你，不是欺负你的！”

　　女人说：“好男人不会让心爱的女人受一点点伤，我会记录下我为什么流泪，不会是莫名其妙的。”

　　“那好吧，抱抱～！”

　　两个月后，女人把那瓶子给男人看，说：“已经满一半了，在两个月内，我们是否有必要查看一下是什么问题呢？”说完递了一本精致的小笔记本给男人

　　男人没有马上打开来看，他的表情里有一丝惊讶，还有点哭笑不得的意味，似乎没有想到女人的眼泪可以这么多，盛得这么快，又觉得女人是小题大作了，但是很可爱。

　　他打开本子开始看，惊讶女人怎么写了那么多。男人一边看着，女人一边说话：“第一次吵架，是在第3天，而且还是一大早，你刚醒来有点懵懂，挤的牙膏不知道怎么的飞到镜子上了，那是我刚擦干净的，我说你连挤牙膏都不会啊，你就来脾气了，然后吵起来……”

　　男人沉默着。女人继续说：“有天晚上我让你帮洗下那几件衣服，因为水太凉，你只顾着玩游戏迟迟不肯动，后来吵起来，我很失望你忘记了我的生理期不能碰冷水，委屈……”

　　“还有一次，我很累了，你还不肯去洗澡睡觉，明明知道我特敏感，有点神经衰弱，哪怕一点点敲键盘的声音都能让我难以入睡，我一情急就说了你这个人自私的话，我们吵起来，你说了一大堆辩论自己不自私自私的人是我之后甩门出去上网通宵，我打你电话你没拿我又不敢自己一个人去找你……”

　　女人这时候有点激动了，眼球开始泛红，说：“还有一次……”男人打断了她的话，“亲爱的，别说了……”

　　沉默…长久的沉默……

　　还是女人打破了沉默：“是不是我们真的不合适？如果是这样，结婚了还是会离婚吧？我们的个性都那么强，谁都不肯退让。”

　　气氛有点尴尬。

　　本子里记录的事情都是那么细小的事情，每次吵架的原因都是那么的简单，男人看着这本子，似乎在体会着女人的心情，大男子是不会去计较这些小事，原本觉得每次和好之后都没事，女人就爱拿这些来说事，但是当他认真去看的时候，他也开始难过了，女人很细心，把事件、心情都写了，还自己总结了一下原因。原来最微小的事情累积起来是很让人痛苦的，他看得出，女人从失望慢慢变成绝望。

　　他想，大概是因为每次吵架，两人都是喜欢在吵架中找出对方不爱自己的证据。他突然意识到，这是个很严重的问题！而且每次吵架，双方都是在心情不稳定的时候，就是还有别的烦心事的时候，把不好的情绪带进了两个人的生活里。

　　“亲爱的别难过……”男人终于说话了：“我请个假，我们去旅游吧。”

　　他们去了第一次一起旅游的地方，太多美好的回忆被唤起，原来彼此是那么深深地爱着对方，这时的女人特别温柔，这时的男人特别体贴。

　　“亲爱的，你还认为我们结婚的话，会离婚么？”男人问。

　　“我想不是我们不合适，像现在，我们是那么快乐，一切都那么美好，可是一回到我们的现实生活里，为什么就变了呢？”

　　“亲爱的，难道我们现在不在现实里吗？”

　　“……”女人楞了。

　　“因为那时候我们都把注意力集中在负面的事物上并且放大了那些负面的心情。并且喜欢找对方不爱自己的证据，然后彼此个性都很倔不肯服输太要面子。”

　　女人觉得确实是如此，原来，双方只是需要一点点忍让，一点点包容。男人带她回顾这初次旅游的地点，是真的用心了，想起那时候他们在一起还不久，为了让对方觉得自己好，都表现出自己最好的一面。

　　“还有半个月，如果那瓶子还是半瓶，那么，亲爱的，嫁给我吧！”

　　女人钻进男人怀里笑开了颜

　　后来他们结婚了。很少再吵架。如果粗心的男人不小心碰掉了杯子，女人不会再开口就骂，因为在女人开口之前，男人已经在道歉，说对不起，都是我不小心的，赔两个给老婆！老婆尽管去选你喜欢的！女人就笑了，然后说，不用买啦，反正还有杯子，再说也不都是你的错，怪我自己没把杯子放好，让你碰到啦！

　　原来真的没有合适不合适，只有珍惜不珍惜，能一起走一起进步是幸福的！

Ah Jie. Hopefully everyone is like you!! and there is still room for improvement!! What they say is really true AT TIMES .. Is not whether u want or dont want, its whether you are willing to give that chance or not.

Day pass by

2010-11-04T01:03:00.000+08:00

Morning wake up... RUSH RUSH RUSH...

Then afternoon... RUSH RUSH RUSH...

Then evening... RUSH RUSH RUSH...

Then Night, Hungry. How ironic. All the rushing made me nothing but hungryness =.=''

Today Mood. = Moody, so hard to find ppl keng sam si.. =.=. Dammit

234 Post

2010-10-31T16:53:00.000+08:00

234, adding it all together is a number 9.

Number 9 is a good number . Number 9 is an auspicious number. Or is it?

anyhow, to keep my own self diary alive. I decided to write something today. Write write write....

4 years has passed. Ever since i left university and step into working life. I looked back, realized that i have done a lot. But with an achievement that i dont feel proud. I dont see the value of it. Alll i learned was the experience, and the process of it. And stepping into the future. I dont feel proud of it.

To me, planning is the way to excel. Implementing your own plan may sometimes turn bizzare, or otherwise. But of course, executing it the right way and right guidance will propel you to success much easier.

I sometimes think im dumb, not knowing what the hell im involving myself in. When everything gets backfired, i re-look on what the mistakes i did, and felt really really bad and awful about it. And it takes me a looooong time to get over it. Or maybe even not at times.

But yet, without failure there is no success, picking myself up again. This year is 2010. and everystep i make from now, im gonna do it with what i think is the best, and of course, with other ppl giving a chance, or it might even work. Then again, i'm not a man surrounded by lucky stars, so i could only look up to the sky and tell the Big Man Up there, Dont Forget me!! =)

Frustrated.

2010-09-21T23:41:00.000+08:00

Today, I got really frustrated.

I started looking back, and realize, something where i didnt put effort, just worked out the way i didnt want it to be. Which is kind of lucky, but i didnt know how to appreciate it. Because i didnt want it that way.

Then i look at those where i made a stand, made an effort, It all didnt work out. It all work the other way out. And i got frustrated. Just stand there and whoever come close me can be ready for a fight if i were to be provoked even with a single poke.

I just couldnt understand why am i at this particular position now. I didnt want it. I didnt ask for it. I strive for a different position. But i really couldnt understand why am i here. They say it takes a lot of patience for something to work out. But as a normal human being, im more of a "rush" person. I couldnt wait. I just wanted it to be done asap.

Then i just decided to sit down. Let out a big Sigh..... SIGH............. life just have to go on. I just have to find a way. Im getting old. dammit.

10 days and counting....

2010-09-17T00:16:00.000+08:00

I just got to write this down, this 10 days, was the worst 10 days i have to endure, go through....

10 days ago, i was a healthy young adult. With a little overweight, and eating here and there, im so happy :)
But i didnt see the tragedy that was gonna be fall on me.. how sad it was...

The 1st & 2nd day, i was down with fever, high fever..... i decided to be my own doctor, took up 16 panadols, 8 perday, which is the maximum dosage, to *surpress my fever*. i had to do something, and i took it, after taking it, i slept most of the 2 days away.. all my time, i was bedridden.....

3rd day came... i wasnt recovering, i started to get anxious, i knew what i was doing, but not getting well and recovering is not an option for me and i m starting to worry about my own health. So i drove out, stubbornly and unwillingly, to see a Doctor. High fever... 38 'c Nice!!! haha.... another 10 panadols in the medicine for me to take home, and a row of EES antibiotic, cough mixture and flu med..

Another day of medicine, and finally i sweat a little after putting on 5 shirts...5 ~~~~ .... its crazy!! i tried 2, 3, then 4, with long pants, all my effort was futile, when i had 5, i was practically wearing long pants and a pair of socks... and the craziest part, i wasnt even sweating, not even a drop!!!!

So the 4th day came, i had to go to a Life learning course which i promised to go 1 year ago. i went. and for the first time in my life, i wore 2 shirt out, because i was going into an aircond room, and also because im afraid that i might get sick again.... the 3 days course went over fast. i was recovering, i started to sweat, feel better, and the fever was going away.....

the 7th day came, i was finally free of fever, but the flu started hitting me, i guess after so long of queueing, it decided that it was his turn... oh gosh....... but the worst, was the last in queue. Mr Cough.

For the 8th, 9thh, 10th and counting, he brought me green flam, monstrous flame, thick green one, and i cant seem to get rid of it. every morning, till night, without fail. N the worst is just starting, now everytime i eat, i start to feel that i need to puke, cause there is something in the throat.... oh no... Night mares.... i really wish that i can recover.. please please... let me recover...

One of those sleepless nights....

2010-08-30T03:36:00.000+08:00

When i need a shoulder, i cant find one.
When i need a person to share problems with, i cant find one who truly understands it.
When i feel like talking to someone, it is always at a wrong time.

I feel happy, yet sad at the same time.
I feel like im the same with everyone. But lack in m something
I feel the need to go for what i want, but always stumble..

I pick myself up, just to fall again. and again.
I pick what i want, and it always the wrong choice
I pick everything i need, and yet still forget what is the most important one.

I like to Help, but always helpless, or not given any chance at all....
I like to know how to express, but speechless at times...
I like to see you smile, but chances are not there...

I always dream, but always awake in reality
I always wanted to contribute, but unable to contribute, instead, needs to be contribute.
I always think, but too much thinking KILLS..
It is just another one of the nights..

1.14 AM

2010-08-08T01:19:00.000+08:00

Regret is a breath of pain and it lives on every part of my body...

MEOW!~

2010-08-06T22:31:00.001+08:00

Birthday Come Birthday GO.

Back to Birthday No more =)

Boring thoughts.

2010-07-28T14:48:00.001+08:00

I do not feel like writing thoughts today.

I am a person who hardly says No. and a person who always try to be nice even though i know i am on
the losing end. Always. And it always end up with results that i feel unsatisfied.

I think, sometimes i really pay respect to my male counterparts who can really be very *Jue Qing* or cold heart-ed. Not a chance given. Straight to the point. I cant. I often prefer it to end on a very nice conclusion or at least good will.

Girls especially, are the most cold heart-ed. If no chance, means no chance, trying might not be an option. for this generation, presumably, not all. but most i guess. i think it is the same for guys as well. but comparatively. i think girls will have a slight edge on it.

I do not know how to be jue qing/cold heart-ed, even tho i will really love to practice it on some1 else one day ( even tho i know it is nearly impossible ). It is just not my style. But i am afraid that it will bring trouble to myself. The thing i always believe, trust and being persistent, is it worth it? the thing i do, even tho i dare to chase again what i wish, what i want, will i dare to own it? What if, i do not want to be like this anymore?

Sighhh...........

Finally, What i do, believe and own yesterday, will always be a memory to me. N for what i want to have tomorrow, let it come with the wind. I will just accept the way it is.

Thoughts

2010-07-25T01:09:00.000+08:00

- Damm tired...... i wanna sleep...
- Running Nose... Waterfall starts after rainy days........
- I no appetite.. ulcer ulcer ulcer go away.. dont ever come back to me!!!!
- Stupid Mosquito!! stop flying around lar!!!!! KNS......... i wanna sleep de still fly here fly there.. buat
kacau! I kill u say i evil, dont kill you, say i dont know how appreciate....zz

Thoughts

2010-07-22T01:13:00.000+08:00

- Now, am i fit enough to be a a medical and financial advisor?
- This will be a challenge. A real Challenge...

My Thoughts Today

2010-07-21T00:28:00.000+08:00

- tired!
- Surprise by a garbage truck went i took my first deep breath in the morning!! Ptui Ptui Ptui!!
- Stomach Ache ....Pain.. Pain.. Pain...
- Started not feeling well....
- Went Bangsar Twice! Omigodsh.....
- Back to where i started....
- Now. i think i need a break.. Jialat.. Jialat..

Thoughts

2010-07-17T21:50:00.000+08:00

- Dam, Sales is sure Hard
- Possibilities of returning where you came from? = 0. Not a chance at all. Because
other people would have jump in on the space u left.
- M gonna start playing the numbers game and hoped i will survive....
- Regret is the worst pill that one have to swallow and digest it.
- Chang Chang said that planning is better than not planning. But what i plan always turn out the otherwise. which was one of the reason i hated planinng. But i knew i still had to at one point. and how i always hope that it will turn out the way i want it.
- Preserverance is the Key to everything...

Thoughts...

2010-07-14T10:36:00.000+08:00

Confused...
Seems like all my decision isn't taking me anywhere...
Traffic Jam... Cant Malaysia be a better place to drive around instead of getting stuck for 1 whole hour just to get from PJ to PJ... dammit
Laugh Laugh at crazy jokes.... hahaha...
Excited!! Saw a meeeeeeeaaaaaaaan Machine!~!
Back to Confused...Jeez!

Thoughts...

2010-07-11T20:59:00.000+08:00

I probably think i should stop writing. Even though how much i alway feel like bullshitting.

Im turning this blog into the Thoughts Blog, instead of elaborating on what i do. i should just make it like a facebook wannabe blog. Just thoughts.

Starts.. Right Now.

I missed my lunch thanks to some friend who ate at home.
I hope my running nose stop flowing.
I cant believe i watch a hongkong series for 5 hours straight. Its addictive!
Minyak Cap Kapak Is my beeest friend now....

Planning.

2010-07-02T00:57:00.000+08:00

Throughout my life. I have tried to plan. Till i gave it up 7 years ago. Because i think there is no point planning. It is not gonna work. i will just go with the flow and work with the flow.

After 7 years, here i am. I did involve myself in some planning during the years i was working, it was inevitable that i have to plan. Plan on earning my first million, my own business.

When i first came out to the society to work, i did door to door sales. The job lasts me for a year. I got into an argument with the Manager and decides to leave. I left to Etiqa.

I was doing corporate insurance when i was in Etiqa. A 9-5 job. but with flexi time. They offered me quite a good remuneration package even tho the others was not as attractive. I was with them for 3 years, then came the bad news, i wasnt getting very well with some1, so i thought so. And an opportunity came up to realise my dream. I jumped on it. I gave the excuse of i wish to have my own business, but it was actually more of an internal factor that drove me to the edge of the cliff.

I came out, and got involve into a daily business. it was a franchise business, as they say, it is always rossy when u start off. And yes, i agree to it. Now, 8 months down the road. Life is enriching enough, i did a few things when i was on my own. I had all the time i needed, i instructed people, designed a system, and got it running without me going hands on for long. However, i realize one thing, it wasnt going anywhere with this business...

I got frustrated. I told my partner that i will go back to work and start searching for opportunity again, we cant keep sharing the profit of the current business and it is not expanding. So, then I started planning again. What will be my next step and my next step should be crucial for my next quarter of half of my life. What do i wan, what is my wish. and where do i see myself in 10 years. I need a career, a one that i can be happy and content with.

I plan again. And now the plan is very clear in my mind. All i need to do is to implement it. And i have a wish, i hope the one up there hears me out and make it come true. Then at least the first step is layed. I sincerely hope it comes true. Then my other ideas will fall into the way i want it and from there. I will hope to blossom.

As Long As people are Happy, Everyone is Happy

2010-06-24T01:15:00.000+08:00

You always have friends that you can talk to. And friends you dont wanna talk to. And friends you wanna avoid. For we dont know what reason, what happen and etc etc etc.

Well, sometimes, when you friend says something to you. You feel that it is really unsuitable, and you totally object to it. But when you look at the friend, this is like the whole thing to her/him. Convinced. Knowing what he/she wants ( Hopefully ). You are against it. But You dont know what can you say. As a friend, as long as he/she is happy, everyone is happy.

Now, when you tell a friend, that the thing one thing he/she should avoid. The more he/she wants it. All you can do, bless she/he with good greetings. As everyone wants different thing in life. The Choices are out there. Is whether one wanna make that decisive choice. Once Made. No Regret.

Well, All we can say. As long as they are happy, There is no reason to keep going against it. Just voice the opinion. and everyone will be happy.

Living In The Unknown...

2010-06-18T23:42:00.000+08:00

Today is the day of questions, questions and more questions.....

What do the future beholds?
Why is everything i do not working accordingl?
Where the hell am i heading?
How to avoid the unnecessary downfalls?

Last worst possible question...

Who am I?

World Cup 2010

2010-06-17T00:49:00.000+08:00

Now, the world cup has finally arrive. Everyone geared up and ready to watch the big game. Not me. I do not know why. But somehow i dont think that it will bring any changes to my life if i watch it. Unless. of course, the penultimate decision to bet. If win, everything will be rosy, and if lose. I will continue to stay at home and starve :) haha.

Neverthless, i have been staying home quite often. Busy doing nothing. Just decided that there is no where else better than home. Even tho is really messy and i have been trying to convince my dear dad to clean his stuffs away. And me, been hardworking throwing his stuff away not lettim him realize. But then, sometimes the effort is futile. Anyhow.... back to world cup.

So, my friends has been trying to get me to watch WC with them. and i must say, they succeeeded. I did went and watch with them, But sometimes, i feel their game is so boring. EPL and CL is so much much much nicer to watch, even tho its Inter v. Bayern.! At least it was worth watching!! haha...

This time, from what i read from the newspaper, articles, i must say Asian Team has improved quite a fair bit, Japan, South Korea, not forgetting North Korea that put up a fight before going down to Brazil. But.. what dissapoint me, where is Malaysia? We used, previously, formerly to be one of the challengers in the WC! Now, we are finding it hard to defeat other countries. Not Hard feelings, But what a shame. We can boasts that we have one of the most modern sports facilities, dedicated sports people. But do all these exist? What happened? Roti Canai and teh Tarik has been poisoning the body all this years, i bet. It deterioted the Malaysian Phsysic and Body, and when all this equation adds together. It = failure.

Now, if only Malaysia could be in there, i would really give my fulll support to them. Regardless they win or lose. Because it will be an achievement to be there. And I hope i will live to see the day......

Back to competitive Environment....

2010-06-15T01:15:00.000+08:00

So many changes this 1 months, first i went back to work. Decided that i wasted enough time. Cant go on wasting my precious time down to the drain, at least by working for other people, i still earn. and yet earning from other source as well, and still so many ppl dont understand what i am trying to do. Haihz. Can only know it deep down inside.

Then Basketball, i got invited for a competition. Deep down in my heart, i dont feel like playing anymore. To me, basketball is just an exercise for me. I am not going into the competition to challenge for honours, not forgetting putting myself in a very dangerous position to be hurt again.

But then, it was Loong Siew who personally maked the call.... aiks.. one of my best bro, so hard to turn him down. And the answer.. ultimate lar ....

I'm Back in the groove!! See how I go!! hahaha...

The cause of Freakiness

2010-06-15T00:27:00.000+08:00

Well, after such unlucky events, i was really counting on what is gonna happen next if i do not do any medical check up to the old car.. haha.. i think it needs to be put on drips in order for it to recover....

Well, went to the mechanic, got it stripped. and Voila!! Apparently the disc brake cracked due to over pressure on the brakes. So.. now that is where the *eee* sound comes from.. and what causes the brake to fail. TWICE. well, nevertheless, i still got to get it change, no matter what. I was not in any position to jeopardize my own life over a broken part. Not now, Never.

Well, of course, the bill was.. torching.... it came to nearly a thousand. but what can i do? A thousand might cost me my life. I'm Just glad that it was the disc, not the evil spirit and i thank my lucky stars for it.

No more Freakiness! thinking too much kills! Have Fun!~

Freaky!

2010-06-05T14:16:00.000+08:00

So, yesterday i had an accident again. Dammit.

The accident did not cause any damage to my car. But how it happen was difficult to digest, and the option is, it can be freaky as well.

A few months back, i had a minor accident,(had a post on it) i was on the way from kampar to deliver stock to Ipoh, Tesco. So i made an exit at Gopeng Toll. When the traffic light turned green, i drove on slowly as i knew that the stock is heavy and with the raining weather and the road condition is slippery, there is a high risk that i might not be able to brake in time etc etc. So i was traveling at a turtle speed of 30-40. As i was approaching the toll, there was a big container truck before me. So i applied pressure on the brake to slow the car down. and... it didn't. It kept moving, yes, practically moving even after i slammed my legs hard on the break, pulled the handbrake, and push the gear to *P*!Next moment, BANG!

Well done, well done, i told myself, the best part was i had a witness with me, Ah Lun's cousin brother was with me at that moment. He was stunned for a moment, and was practically wondering why hadnt the car stopped when i did all the necessary measures. I was.. awestruck. it was an awful day. i did not know how to react. All i did was said sorry to the truck driver, and move on. Got some advice, and words from my daddy, friends that i shud be more careful, get my car checked on the brakes etc etc. everything was ok after that. Till yesterday.

After a whole day out, and i accidentally destroyed the aircond in my car, i took my daddy out to the visit his trusted mechanic and see what i can do to the mailfunction aircond. dammit. Well, got it fixed. Subsequently, i went to Tong Kee to grab some cakes for my dad and sister and we left home. As we were heading home, suddenly, the terror strikes back, i was driving at 20/30kmph, and there it goes again. The brake start failing me, and the hand brake. Omigosh. N daddy was beside me :) hahaha he was really left frightened and wondering what was going on. And i am glad that i was kind enough to let a lorry over take me before all this hit me. Nevertheless, i bang into the lorry, the impact was really mild and the lorry driver didnt even realize it!! ahahaha... sweet!! but i did have a few scratches on the car. Dammit. Now, i really dont know what is wrong wit the car, or with me. LoLx. but i did all the necessaries. And my dad insist to get the car checked by this weekend. Obviously i have no objection to it. and looking back... It was just.......

Freaky!!!!

Life's So Far....

2010-06-01T01:26:00.000+08:00

Now, i have been wondering around, banging around for quite some time. Its time to stop. Cant stop wasting my time like this.

This morning, i woke up, and i realize, wow. Its already June. So Fast June has arrive. Im glad to be alive.. "cough cough", so i called up my cousin brother. Hey Coussie, could we make a trip to Sipadan? he told me yea! of course, and i told myself. Lets Start planning. So, i planned . Plan ahead, Am still contemplating tho, Not sure who would join me, Mayb will ask around... then again, see who senang lorh... BUT!! BUt!!! but i determined to get my advance diving license by at least end of August.. heheh.. bday month. Will be such a nice bday present for myself. But at the same time, hoping for present as well...hehe.. haven got one last year. Dam Sad.

After talking on the phone, i walked downstairs, hungry.. but again, as usual. tak de orang teman. So i fall back asleep again on the sofa downstairs after having a cup of Milo. And got awake when a intruder name faye called.. .So damm long never see her!! ! so yea, so conincidence she called and see whether i am eng enough to go for some bite. Of course i am!! LaLaLa.... so went midvalley.. she stays in cheras, so its much nearer for her and not so far for me...

As usual.. we talked, she open up a bit on her current rship. but im not gonna elaborate much. Gonna write something else more general when i get the chance to on what she said. After that, came home, and fb a little while, and fall asleep again. LoLx. Till night.

Gave Mr Chris a call, and i went to Ecoba to cheer my friend,wilson in a drinking competition. 100 short cups of beer to be finished in 100 minutes and the rules are to drink a cup every minute. Whoever can do it walks away Rm1800 and a free sky vodka. Gosh., 1 hour for such money. But putting your health at risk. LoLx! and the its call the CENTURION Challenge!! lots people there... 24 people join. 7 survived the ordeal, And Congrats to my bro, wilson teo, one of the winners and the most steady in the group of 7, A pure drinking machine. Haha. cant blame him, he owns a bistro. Drinkin is his job. Free money. Sweet.

That is like about it for a day now at as 31st May2010. As for the last weekends of May, As usual, wast4ed. and the worst was to spend money and not entirely gotten back the value i gave. Dammit.

Robin.. Hood?

2010-05-24T19:48:00.000+08:00

So, the night crow in me is awake again...

I went out dinner with few of my buddies, chinlim, yew hoe and his gf. the dinner was extremely expensive!! paid RM17 for hokkien mee! haiyo, if it is like that, the next time i will rather pay an extra of rm3 and we can enjoy unlimited buffet steamboat flow.. tsk tsk.. but it will be all together wrong kind of food..hahaha

anyhow, after dinner, i went and yum cha wit my penghean and tucky, haven seen them for a reallllli long time.... and it was already.. 12, and tucky asked, *have you guys watched Robin Hood? *. So there it go, we decided to go for the movie in midvalley as there is a showing at 12.30 and we are 100% confident no other people will be like us.. haha.

Robin Hood.

When i was watching, i was expecting Mr. Robin, to have an bow and arrow with him, of course i dont mind that he will eventually fall for Marion. A widow whose husband went to war right after their marriadge. And this was what surprise me.

Ermm.... An axe???? hahahaha.... i was really dumbfounded, the whole movie, it didnt quite reflect what i had in mind. Robin hood was like a childhood playtoy to me. The way he goes with his merrymen, stealing for the poors and etc etc etc.... hahaha.. and this scene, certainly caught me off guarded. Well, after everything, as in when the show was going to end. IT stated. The legend therefore begins.... ohz.. now i know, means this is how it all started off....hahahaha... fictionally... lolx! Im not sure whether there is written prove, but then again, who cares?

Finally. THis is what i wanted. Hahah... but there is nothing about it. But yea, its still Robin Hood. But it was like the Before Robin Becomes a Hood. And Tucky was asking me. .. so why is he call Robin Hood? ask me? I told him.. that is cause... He wears a Hoodie? That is how the name came from. Haha.

21/5/10

2010-05-23T14:10:00.000+08:00

Late Late Late update! :)

Now, how have myself been. This has been like a diary to me. This online blogspot.

Once a friend told me. * The possibility of you having a trustable friends, a true friend after your study, college, uni life is highly impossible as you start walking into the working life. *

I didnt expect how it was gonna turn out to be. I, being me, was always being nice to everyone. exceptionally nice to the ones i always think of, care of and thoughtful of. However, Not everything are rosy. You can be nice. But to some other people. It is a threat. A threat that can change their destiny. A threat to destroy what they want the most.

I myself have learn a few trades of myself when i was working in the corporate world. Then i came out on my own. Set up a small business with a great partner. And yes, this partner is a friend i met after i came out working. and it turns out. it isnt that bad after all!!! but when i was in the corporate world. I didnt share much of myself. Because the more i share. The more i am expose to the threats and enable people to attack my weak point.

Nonetheless, i will say this is survivor skill. May the best win and the worst stumble and fall and rise again to meet up to expectation. that is the best way it should be. Everyone has its own rights to shine.

DESTROI.......

2010-05-19T14:44:00.002+08:00

I am in a very destructive mood this morning.. i feel like destroying everything that is around me. Including myself.

Damm

Hmmph. Busy Day

2010-05-18T02:28:00.000+08:00

Yay, Finally a busy itshy day....

Morning.. Swimming, then leave for breakfast, waited for whole 50 min just for the pork noodles!! omigoodness.... and personally.. dont find anything impressive of it.

Then back to discussion with a few guys, taukeh, kids and etc etc. Business opportunities and etc etc etc... .nothing really fruitful yet. The idea is there. but i still think there is many loopholes that they are not aware about. What we can only do is the plan, implementing it need some time.

Till now. Gosh. Time to turn in. Nitez.

The learning Curve.

2010-05-15T01:48:00.000+08:00

I have thought a lot for this whole week. I did nothing this week!!! oh that is so wrong!!! hahah... i cant accept it in my life. I prefer my life to be occupied with things to do. At least things that will make me earn my dough and etc etc....

I started planning again. Plan for the Present, future and etc. I know my plans might not come true. But i need to plan, or it will never come true. implementing it was not gonna be easy. But someone's got to do it. and that is me.

I met a few people, had a few discussion. Made a few comments. And i finally think i know where i am heading. I hope i know. And i hope the decision i am taking, will be able to fulfill what i had in my mind and heart. For that, it is a good start.

Looking back, past 6 months, i left a good company and a well paid job to start off on my own. It did not really benefit me wholly except i really do have a lot of freee free time. But all this free time, i cant turn it into workable stuffs because i do not have adequate capital to start off. Resources are short. but i've learn a lot. Its a learning curve that involves money. But a curve that i think i will never forget.

And my next step... :) For me to know, for others to find out .

12/5/10

2010-05-13T02:35:00.000+08:00

Its already thursday, i have yet again wasted my 3 days... i didnt manage to do what i wanted. Totally felt wasted and all the time i spent was on useless and unnecessary stuffs. :(

There is a small regret today however, to my bro, mr Ah Loong, i'm sorry to cause you got caught by the Hantu's.... must have cost you another fortune. Should not have spoke to you on your handphone for so long. I have no idea why is there so many hantu lying around as well today. Dammit. Again, i apologise to you. It was really my fault. My Deepest apologies to ya.

Back to my drawing board. I have started to do planning again. The last plan is taking too long and its overdue. Cant leave it lying around. Got to start implementing it. haha.. but for now, its on a pause. Because it is at a planning stagge. Damm it.

There is nothing exciting that happen for the past 2 days. But all happen today. I called up a friend today. And i accidentally made her cry.. no idea what is wrong with my mouth. Cause the fella say cannot access facebook, so i went to dia punya page lorhz.. read her all the msg.. mana tao... CHARM...... i heard sobbing... Jialat... oh no oh no... hahaha... and me being me.. dont cry lar.. jangan nangis lar....

I think i will just keep quiet next time *( i have said this for since i know when and i haven able to stop yet ). I've cause a friend to get summons and a friend to cry. Enough ..... the more i talk the more i wrong.

Enough Said For Today. no Good!

9/5/10

2010-05-10T03:01:00.000+08:00

1) First thing first.. CHELSEA is the EPL champion for 2009/10!!!

2) now, back to me, Im getting tired nowadays. No idea what am i doing. No idea where should i find my motivation. I could only do things blindly. Try everything. and see what interest me best, they say. If you love what you are doing, you will never get bored. Am finding *that*

Woke up in the morning, it was mothers day, but my mom is in UK :) lol, anyhow, was suppose to text some1, but looking at facebook and realize that she slept so late, decided to delay the sms. So i made an appointment with some1 and waited. But she didnt turn up. She told me her son was sleeping.. hiahz. suddetnly received a call, from my staff in kampar, told me she had to go back becuz she felt unwell.... so i rush from ipoh to kampar and open the shop for at least 4 hours before i pack and left.

And when i was leaving, i drove past bidor, decided to stop and buy the duck leg noddle... and bloody hell, when i look into the packing she gave me, it wasnt the leg at all!! it was the thigh! how can!! and when i confronted them, they told me they ran out of duck leg!! and i told them, you should have very well inform me before you sell it to me! that is really irresponsible of you all!! The aunty still can smile at me...omigod...stupid.. stupid!!

Then i decided to take a challenge.. ahaha.. i took a straw, a pair of chopstick, and started eating while im driving!! Exciting! but crazy i must say... hahaha.. i actually putting my own life in danger.. and im so not gonna try it again. I passed my own test with flying colours... but its no, not gonna do it again.. ahaha.. eating SOUP noodles, driving, and even answering the phone.... i must be really out of my mind...

After reaching home, went out with daddy to watch the EPL match, ahah,, daddy is my mommy as well :) so have to accompany him. cant always let him be alone watching football matches.

Now, how time flies, its so late, and i dont understand why am i not tired yet. Am still here writing and writing, i have so much in my heart, but i dont know who can i talk to. how i hope im back at this place.....

8/5/10. Habis

2010-05-08T00:56:00.000+08:00

8/5. Turn it the other way round and its my birthday. Another year is gonna pass just like that. Time is moving so fast, and so little time i have.

Woke up really late this morning, was suppose to meet up a friend, but got canceled. so i could sleep in later, and when i woke up, my whole body was aching.. dammit. Im really catching up with age.... ahaha.. so i decided to i stay at home and do some reading N updating. However, i still left home at 12 to go to the bank. Dont wanna be late. because i know once i get out of the house. My schedule starts moving and running.

Went to Public Bank, after finishing my banking duties, i left to bangsar. and i got stuck in the jam, and the office HQ of melealuca for 3 whole hours. when i finally got everything done it was nearly 3.30. damm... Peng hean called, waanted to meet me in centrepoint. So i agree to meet him even tho i need to go back to bangsar and meet up my ex-colleague for dinner. Rushed home, had a bath, and out i go again. After some discussion with him, i left to bangsar at 5. Was running a little late and how lucky i was, there is no jam! :)

Then stayed there for a while, propose some ideas, and sell some ideas, and see whether they are interested in buying it... then i left in my ex-boss car. haha.. kereta baru altis :). For me, car .. not important. but nevertheless, i still enjoy the ride because i do not need to drive through the jam! was suppose to visit one of our sick colleague in ampang, but decided to abandone the plan because the road was really terribly jammed up. So, we headed to Jalan IMBI and have *their and my* favourite seafood place.

The stall only open at 7 and we reach at 6.30. It was a tad too early. but overall it was fine. we had a group of 9. haha.. and they asked me whether i miss working with them, me? i told them, you guys miss me more than i miss u all !

After dinner, we headed to the hospital to visit the colleague, Leen, she was hospitalized with viral fever.Just a short visit, and they drop me off back in bangsar to get my car. Headed home and i got a ring from Chris inviting me to velvet! , *IM SORRY chris*!! im too tired.. ahaha.. to party. but i can stay up awake and surf and write :)

So i am here. now, after a full *day*. Nice. and i think im getting heaty with after having crabs, prawns, Bah Li Tong, and La La.

HABIS.

Top paying jobs for women

2010-05-07T02:47:00.000+08:00

Top paying jobs for women

Occupational Therapists
Computer Scientists and Systems Analysts
Management Analysts
Computer Programmers
Physicians and Surgeons
Computer Software Engineers
Computer and Information Systems Managers
Lawyers
Pharmacists

(http://news.malaysia.msn.com/photogallery.aspx?cp-documentid=4069723&page=9)

So i stumbled across this post in msn malaysia just now. and decided to copy it down. Nowadays, women do not like to consider themselves as housewife and etc etc compare to the olden days...
I pretty much respect women who can perform their abilities well at a high level. It makes me look up to them as i do not feel there should be any issue. Wthere its a women or a men, whoever can perform and deliver the result is always worth respecting unless...! unless,,,!! she is one arrogant bastard.

Nevertheless, top paying job is as listed. Lawyers... ahaha.. makes me think of the show i watched 2 days ago. How a women can go to the extent to get what she wants. Very cruel, but life is hard, and everyone wants instant success....

Just how Fast Time will come and whisk past You.

2010-05-03T04:43:00.000+08:00

Time Flies... We all know that.. and it flies extremely fast...

What happen 2 weeks/3weeks ago seems like a flashback. Everthing seem to happen just fornight or even yesterday. There was no time to even take a breather and look back and see what we have done and appreciating. All we can do is appreciate what is going around us and be glad about it.

Life for me has been moderate. No matter how much i try to make myself happy, i felt that there is a hole beneath. I cant seem to find what is the cause of it. I have not been sleeping well, I used to love to sleep. I adore *sleep*. It was my best friend and best mate. But not now, he is drifting further every night and i do not know why. It doesn't like being around me. it hurts.

Probably i have too much concern in my mind. Or even because i do too much unnecessary thinking. It is awful. I tried not to think, thought or even use my brain when i try to sleep. I succeed. But just after 4 hours it is futile as i will be awake in no time.

I just got to find a way, the cause of the hole. and im still thinking. Putting myself at a risk to race against time. and there is got to be a way to stop it...

Problems, Uncertainties and Troubles

2010-05-02T01:04:00.000+08:00

Before i go on. We should watch IP man.

Yes we should. Maybe not once. Twice.

Problems/uncertainties/troubles arises, what happen next? we avoid? Ignore? Hide? Face it gracefully?

When i was working back then, i took the very first step. Avoiding and Ignoring it. It gave me a lots mroe problem, sleepless nights, and more trouble with people. i didnt understand what was going on, or should i say, i didnt want it to happen. I knew there was gonna be a problem if i took the step. But i invited it. yet i still choose to ignore and avoid it. Worse, hide it.

The end result turns out to be catastrophe. We will never get the answer on the outcome. nor the result. Everything will blow off uncertaintly and causes uneasyness among people. I had my issue. and instead of getting it done. by avoiding it. it became worst, it became horrible and to the extent that i have to be humble and defend myself.

Well, after that, i started to learn. i learn to face it. Learn to talk it out. Learn to express. Avoiding or Ignoring everything will never end. Giving an answer to the other party is so much better than avoiding it. At least the other party knows what is going on and how to handle it. Be it good or bad. There is sure a way out.

Well, bottomline is. If there is any problem, or any uncertainty. Face it. Do not run away or try ignoring it. Leaving it lying around is irresponsible. it is just unfortunate there is still a very big percentage of human beings, sometimes leaders still choooses this way out as they think its best left like this. i say its nuisance. Preach people to be responsible, But do not practice personally. Then again, Life's like this. It is just awful when you have to face people like this.

SHoo~

1st May 2010. Labour Day

2010-05-02T00:32:00.000+08:00

1st May, A day where every working class people always look forward to... A day i always looked forward to as well. Till recently when i came out on my own.

It just feel like yesterday when im still attached to ETIQA, everything was a flashback. what happen so quickly after a year. its been a wonderful, yet fulfiiled experience with them. But leaving them was one of the sacrifices i needed to make in order for me to run after my goal.

Woke up very early morning, and i cant fall back to sleep, i really hated this feeling.. i hate it and hate it and hate it. Worst, i had diarrhoe, must have been the indomie i had last night. Guess it's starting to have effect on my weak stomach. It was so awful until i decided to go for a swim at 10.30 pm, water treatment. My self-recipe treatment. Haha.. but it didnt last long because i was runnning again to the loo after i swam just 2 lapzs!!! Came home, did all my washing and went out to buy daddy lunch. Gonna be a filial son when i stil have the chance to do it. After i had my lunch, i was so tired from the washing stomach of mine and i decided to sleep......

Shawn woke me up at 2pm. Told me he was bored to death, he proposed to go Tropicana ! and be4 that he would like a swim.... haha... so swimming again. well, me is me. Okie. Can. if i have the time. i will agree to anything people proposed.

So we went for a swim, then tropicana, he brought so many friends along and we nearly got questioned! luckily we were members over there... lovely place to relax and chill out. Then later at night i went to Chinlim * so called first day Gaji Partiee...* hahaha... free dinner.. But i was too full to eat anything. moreover, my tummy wasnt very well yet... unfortunately, i still had quite a lot, the food was to tempteous to miss!!

So that's my Labour Day. So called holiday. A day to remember or a day to forget?

Tv Shows, including Porn, Rushing into 3D space?

2010-04-26T00:41:00.000+08:00

Oh good lord, what is the world changing into? Thanks to Avatar, as quoted in (http://entertainment.malaysia.msn.com/News/article.aspx?cp-documentid=4029740), the industry is gearing up to jump on the 3D bandwagon....

Well, personally, i do not favor 3D shows, probably due to the heavy spectacles that i have to put it on my nose and rest it there till at least the movie ends. It gives me the utmost discomfort. Moreover, i do not know how to appreciate 3D :). Not at this very moment. Moreover, i cant imagine having a 3D Tv set at home. Imagine watching a taiwan series drama in 3D. Yucks.

But that is not the main point, the main point is The Playboy TV portfolio of channels, whose largest subscriber base is in the adult entertainment sector with over 10,000 hours of erotic entertainment, plans to launch in 3D at the end of the year, Kieran Knight told AFP.
"You will have to get it right in 3D or it will be a disaster", said Claire Freeman who heads up production at Portland International's Television X. (http://entertainment.malaysia.msn.com/News/article.aspx?cp-documentid=4029740),

Sweet... Now we can wonder. How it will turn out to be. I bet it will turn heads. Maybe i will have a glance, i have long quitted that industry anywayz.. LoLx!~ They say guy who doesnt look at it is Gay, got to prove them wrong. =D

Anyhow, 3D? Sounds realli EXCITING>.......

Just how simple things will turn out with a small effort.

2010-04-22T13:31:00.000+08:00

Ever wonder how a simple thing can be done with a small effort?

I never see it the hard way, it was all really easy for me. Few days i went back to my ex-company. Was surprise how the person who took over from me was suffering, nobody was able to advice her on what to do and how it was gonna be manage.. LoLx.. Speaking on passing down the work! =.=''

Since i was there, i gave her a small insight on how she should ignore all the unecessary files, the work she took 2 weeks to figure out. I settled it for her in 10 min. Call me good! :) haha.. but it was because i just look at it in a very simple way. Ignore the unimportant one and focus on the *important* ones. Keep the old one. But just for record purpose. Dispose it after it is unmoved in 2 months. :)

Wont continue, i m going to do a simple thing now. Rest and sleep. Im tired. =)

Urrrrrpppp...............

2010-04-22T00:52:00.003+08:00

My Centurion Post.... ...

Urrrp..........

urrppppp......

Urrp.............

Burrrpppp..........................

Im so bloated and full and i cant muster the strength to write!!!!!!

Everyone has a dream.....

2010-04-19T10:00:00.000+08:00

Everyone has a dream, who doesnt?

When we were a kid, we hope that we can be an adult.
When we have grown, we hope that we can be as rich and succesful as other adults...

Now, what if we have grown, and we realize, the things that we want, we desire, we longed for is harder to achieved than we expected? Well, Im not talking about other things, im talking about material things.. So this is where the *smarter* people surface, Banks appear, Financial Institutions, and even Loan Sharks!

To make ourself content, we tend to live on our dream. Using upfront cash to invest, using loans. All this puts a burden on ourself. We keep working, slogging to achieve our greatest dream. The freedom to all our needs.

Take 2 scenario's .
a) Mr.Lim Drives a Toyota Camry, but he always has an headache end of the month. He faces difficulties in clearing all his debts. But yet he still manages, but in a very troubled way. However, he takes contention in having a big car to drive even tho he knows that he barely afford it...

b) Mr. Teh Drives a Toyota Vios. He doesnt have any problem repaying his loans. But he is cash rich. However, sometimes his friends laugh at him and say why does he drives a small car. He doesnt care. All he know that he is happy and take contention in being in that....

VerdicT : Both are happy, but they both are living in a different dream... One live in a dream of fear of facing the unpaid loans and trouble of repaying it. The other, lives in a peaceful dream, might even have a chance to be richer as he has the extra financial to invest!

So, which dream do you all prefer?

3 to 200!!

2010-04-19T00:03:00.000+08:00

Yay... reaching my centurion post again...

:) its been a while since i blog here.... i have been really busy for the past 1 week... went diving in Lang Tengah Redang, came back and got an urgent call from Sitiawan, which means that i have to send the stocks down straight away.. Crazy!!!!

well, speaking of my adventure in Diving... It... is... blooooooody AWESOME!!!!!!!

Bad experience, first day, Luggage was still in KL and Im in Teregganu... freaking stress !!! but ii still have to accept the fact that i needed to wait a day before my luggage could arrive.. Baka!

A few pictures, actually there is more!! but i cant put it all in here..... so if u guys want.. then you can go to facebook and check it out......

Tried to Open My Eyes.....But my effort was futile.......

The PVC pipe for us to hang us....

They threw me into the water tank......

Gearing up!! Ready to Rock!!!!!!

The Three of us thaat went to Lang Tengah Together........

No Huat oz...

2010-04-06T00:42:00.000+08:00

ahahah.. No No Huat, 2 days in a row i bought.. still no huat... presevere!!! hahah... but its gonna cost me man... LoLx...

After a weekend of Bai Bai.. Yesterday was the exact day. They say u should cook. I tell them, i got nobody to cook so i cook myself which is Maggi :)...hahaha.. different meaning, but at least i cook at home :). It wasnt hard .. very simple for a simple meal.

today i think a lot, i dont like staying at home too much, because when im too freee the mind starts wandering away.. even bug a friend to introduce me chicks... haha.. but nah.. usually what he says to me comes in from the left and i will order it to exit to the right.. nowadays girls.. err.... too clever? LoLx...

Anyhow, stumbled upon a picture.. a lovely one, i think if they have it here.. the malays here will not face so much trouble in dating and we can reduce the cost of having policemen riding on horses catching couples snuggling and kissing.... ta da....

The Point!!! They can have it all in the designated park.. i bet there is people who will visit it.... the more the merrier...haha. that is why they have a few chair's facing each other.. LoLx! Probably they were thinking couples can get pointers from other couples as well to spice up their r'ship!!!

Huat Ah!!!

2010-04-03T13:53:00.000+08:00

Today Must Huat ah!!!!!!

First time i went to MAGNUM 4D with my dad...hahaha...after so long.. finally convinced him to let me follow.... LoLx... invested a few RM inside... Hopefully i could strike after all the bad luck!!!

Huat ah!!!! 财神快来我身边啊！！！！！！

Such a contrast.. In less than 24 hours....

2010-04-03T13:49:00.004+08:00

Haiyo!!!!!!!!

Why lar Why Lar!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was happy when i got this!!!!!!
The first Big Fish that matches the size of my face in my life!! Through midnight fisshing!!!!!!!!! Even tho Ah Lun's coussie let it go unintentionally.. but i m still glad that i caught it and pull it up myself!!!

But Hell......

The next morning when i send the stocks... this happen, i was driving at 20-30 kmph... Saw a big container truck and hit the brakes.... and the best part.. i was still going forward, without panicking, i pull the handbrake and shift the gear to P...and *BANG* ... it was too late.... I hit the ... the size of the truck slightly bigger size than the picture i post... AARGHGHHG!!!!!! ! i hate it!!! what the hell!!! accident at this period of time!!!!!! i felt so helpless when the car cant stop.. even thought of transforming myself into SUPERMAN and fly right infront of my car to stop it..... how i wish i could...

Well, I'm still glad that it is only like a minor bang... but it still gonna cost me a few hundreds... Also glad that i dont need to pay for both parties., glad that my water tank didnt burst... so even tho i am very *mm shun* inside. Im still glad that god still takes care of me... give me a minor warning that's all....

Anyhow, Im back home now. The car can only be repair on monday. Come to think of it. I guess its fine. Because i will be leaving to Anson to visit my grandpa.. call him BO PI me for my whole life..... i wouldnt want something like that again....

PIGLETS!!!!!!

2010-04-03T10:19:00.000+08:00

Ah ha!!!!!

Finally i manage to find a few colourful piglets!!! Roasted colour, Steamed colour, Stewed colour.... what colour also got...

VeryVery Nice!! :) Even found one small piglet who matured so fast that they decide to kiss before opening their beautiful eyes!!!! By the sense of touching.... wooooo... so romantic...hahahaha....

The VERDICT!!!! They are actually DOGS :)

A Supper Trip to Jogoya.

2010-04-03T00:11:00.005+08:00

Now, i just reached home. On my computer, and start face-book. BIG mistake.. i cant stop looking at pictures, other people's profile. To stop myself, i started writing. As i always do.

Now, i went to Jogoya last week, and just a small intro, Jogoya is a famous expensive japanese buffet that will cost one 78++ everytime u walk in to eat. It is worth it if you are jap food lover. For me, its a tad expensive. I prefer good food, at a reasonable price. But not buffet, because it not only kills you, it kills your tougue :).

Nevertheless, i got an invitation from my brother ah lun. Since i haven been to the buffet supper, WHY NOT? and its 50 % anywayz.. so i guess i could still afford it :).

So , 9pm. On My Way... lalalala....

Ah Lun's Gf, trying to figure out what floor was it in starhill, guess she did make a good pose :) Ohz, and the VIP resit, thanks to Ah Lun as well, without it, we will not get to enjoy the VIP's food. But i cant figure out why the picture is upside down. Cant seem to adjust it.

One of the VIP good food, to avoid unwanted guest, this picture is upside down as well. But the clip inside, belongs to us and we will have it serve to us in a short while :)

Ta-Da!!! Not too bad, but i think it was too small... cant even share!!!! But we still did.. Look at the head.. macam Naga saja... :0

Oyster that the lovebird loves.. ah lun and ah mei, for me, i think it has the smell that i cant tahan... but its really FATTTTT and BIIIIGGGGGGGG and SLUGGGGISSSH!!!! eww! ....... looking at it makes u feel full..... Beside it...... Sotong and Baked Potato!!! The sotong is good, but having Baked Potato for buffet is wasting money.

Haaaaaa aaaa gggeeeeeennnn Daaaazzzss!!!!! They say if you have 10 scoops of it, then you didnt waste the money u spend inside JOgoya!! because it is so expensive outside and it is free flow inside!! I love coffee and Chocolate chip... My favourite!!! Mango Is nice as well, but didnt manage to take the picture because of some greedy guys who tucked in without asking permission......

The STUPID boy of the day, he had stomach upset in the morning, and till late evening, and yet he insisted on going to Jogoya, so we went and got him a bowl of porridge!! hahaha.. paid so much to eat porridge

... Stupid boy!! he could have just tell me and we can go another day!! ( and the porridge suck so much that he only had one spoon and stopped! )

This one impressed me the most, ahaha.. love the design, will love to have one in my house next time. Looks uberly cool.... :) and the clock actually works!!! just a simple mechanism!!

After a good meal, its time to have some fun with the models in starhill, due to the late hour, its already 1am, there was none to be seeen. This was the best i could find. Chat a little and she told me i'm welcome to do a pose and a picture with her. Lovely huh? :)

Well, we actually had more than the picture i post, But it was too much for me to post it here. Anyway. I Just finished fighting a WAR, i still have another WAR to fight before i could enjoy myself to the maxxxxxxxxxxxxx!!! But Im glad that Im back home. Home Sweet Home.

Karma : What comes around goes around.....

2010-04-01T14:54:00.000+08:00

I am a believer of Karma, but not strong, not the kind who will bow down to it. Till Yesterday. Well, i will be a crazy believer of it. But at least, if i am at 50 %, now i will be at 70 % believing it is true that it really exist.

I nearly lost my phone yesterday when i came back to Kampar to settle a few issue. Ah Lun picked it up from the floor outside and passed it to me. I wasnt aware that i dropped it in the middle of the road when i was getting down from the car. If i am not mistaken, i think it has been lying on the road for at least half an hour and see who gets lucky. And I'm the lucky one. How glad i was, that it wasn't lost. I will be heart broken if its lost. Moreover, it was my sony ericsson phone. Not my Paria one :)

Now, why does this situation makes me believe that karma do exist? Looking back, approximately 4 months ago, i was walking past the student campus, and i saw a phone, lying in the middle of the road, at that very moment, the first naughty intuitive of me will tell me to pick it up and keep it. Or even sell it away and earn some extra cash. But i didnt. I didnt know why, i just left it there and waited there for 10 min and see whether there is someone who will appear and pick it Up. A student did. Apparently she was cycling and she dropped the phone on the way back. You could see how happy one person is when they found their belongings.

Now, looking back , If i picked up that phone and keep it to myself. What will happen yesterday? probably i would have really lost it.... Now, you can tell how glad i am that i didn't pick the phone up. I am very GLAD that i didn't.. at least, i got back my phone...

Well, conclusion is that now i believe that what comes around goes around and in the future, i will do everything carefully and not overly get carried away on the bad intention. i Hope that i could maintain that mindset. hahah.. knowing me. i forget things easily :)

11 PM.

2010-03-30T23:01:00.000+08:00

I felt Im falling back to my secondary school routine.

Yum cha now. Driving out now to yum cha. And I wont know what time I will be back. Hurray :)

BREAKFAST! LUNCH! DINNER!

2010-03-30T17:54:00.000+08:00

I dont want where i am now!! breakfast lunch dinner all nobody accompany eat!!!! All busy!!!!!!

HOU SIEN AH!!! SIEN SIEN SIEN SIEN!!!

CALL PPL NO FREE TALK
SMS PPL NO FREE REPLY

THIS WORLD REALLY NO FREE THINGS... GERAM nye ku....

Raining Raining Raining...

2010-03-30T17:27:00.001+08:00

Its 5.30 PM now, and it’s been raining for the past 1 hour... I love when it rains, it washes away dirt and clog on the road, washes away the heat wave that everyone has to endure. The best part for me; it makes memories come flying back, whether it’s a happy one or a sad one.

Looking back, 3 years ago, I was in Etiqa, every time when it rains, I always go to the window and look down, pity all the cars that is stuck in a jam, the people who needs an umbrella to get to one place. Looking out, I always dream, when will be the day that I will not need to work for other people. I will have the free time that I need, working hard and doing stuffs that I enjoy.

Every drop of rain that hits the window, makes a nice song, sometimes even with a drum of lighting that gives you a shock. Standing by the window was one of my favorite spot in the office. My colleagues always asked me why I am standing there. But they never knew what I was thinking..  Probably they thought I was day dreaming away again. This is one of the picture i took when i was still working back then...

Also, when it rain, it makes me think of my friends... haha.. How they love rain. I have a friend who is in particular loves it. That is because he says that he can court a girl in the rain. I still recall there was once, I fetch him out for a drink, then he saw her favorite gal at mamak, and it was raining heavily, suddenly, the gal asked whether he had an umbrella. He didn’t!! I had, but it’s in the car! And I needed to run to the car under the rain, fetch an umbrella just to help him out. He got his wish anyway. And I’m drenched from the running… But I’m glad he was happy about it. Really stupid what guys will do to make a girl happy, not excluding me as well.

Well, for bad memories, its better that I skip it, M trying to forget all. 

Hmm.. Dreaming back, 3 years ago, I still had a gf, she always complained that I do not have enough time for her. So I made a vow to myself. I always make vows without realizing whether I could accomplish it a not. Haha.. So yea, you can call me a dreamer. The vow was, after 3 years, when I saved enough; I will come out and start something on my own. Then we will have the free time we need. However, at this very moment, I am here, home, having all the free time. But Single. It’s funny how life can turn out. One moment you can have something, just in a short span, you realize so many things has changed. Guess this moment is going to stay for a very long time... Wonder when she will surface, hopefully she will appear… like an angel. Then I don’t need to day dream anymore. She sure will be in my dream every single night....

Anyhow, its still raining... Guess it really washed the whole Malaysia Clean Clean before he leaves, leaving behind is a scent of fresh smell and new hope for all the people out there...

Few Pictures from past few outings....

2010-03-28T02:08:00.003+08:00

CAMERON HIGHLANDS........

ArmPit Smells extremely good in Cameron.....

The Mutiple Strawberry Cigar Smoker....

The Three small to BIG devils....

Strawberry Cigar Smoker.....

The Group that went up there......

Time to Wake up.

2010-03-28T01:54:00.000+08:00

Human's are creatures who loves new, exciting stuffs. So i presume...

Today i had a friend calling me, i dont understand why i always get all this calls.. not even a love expert! hahahaha.....

So the stories goes like this.... ohz, before i start, the *friend* is a gal. Pretty, soft spoken, nice, and etc. Very good girl. I would say, err.. very nice gal. Hahaha... i have lots of people telling me to go after her as well... but nah.. Thanks!

Well, she called and tell me stuff's that the guy did. Awful stuff;s.. From what i can gather, the guy was quite a decent guy, well like and nice guy. But i didnt expect his ego to be that awful. His attitude to be that bad, generally speaking, he is a well maintaned and i would say patient guy... well, anyhow, the guy was realli nice to the girl... very nice indeed.. and i *approve* their rship...hahahahaha.. gave my blessing to them!! the age gap was there tho ( i just knew just now ) .. but ahah..... somemore the girl also say nothing wrong when i asked, ahaha,, cause im surprised! .. so what can i say? lolx!

But everything changed after the guy got together with her. His attitude change, His character, he starts being picky, possesive, even say things that will hurt the gal...Jealousy hits him when she talks to other guys... and etc... When the gal ask me why that guy changed, i really didnt say much, i didnt know what to say. Just only told her that if the guy do this often, then dont bother continue it...hahahaha ( Ngek ngek ngek... wanna destroy their rship ) :P.. but nah.. just that i know her character well, she will just keep quiet if the guy do things like that.... and her heart very soft soft one.... very fast melt....

anyway, i do not know what to say more after that... i just told her that the guy deserve another chance if she really likes him.. even thou they are still at a very early stage. But i can tell the gal likes him, if not she wont get together with him!

I can only tell the guy, Dont Just Treasure things that you haven gotten, You must treasure the things that you have gotten.

You can use love to get the whole world. but jealousy can also cause you to lose everything you have.... Time to wake up. My dear friend.

Just like the cendol. Its boring with the Ice only. When you have the toppings, then you will treasure the sweetness, redbeanness, and the cendolness that comes with it.

Just a little thoughts here and there.....

2010-03-27T12:42:00.000+08:00

Firstly, Grats to my Bro, I M happy for you, at last .. right? Hopefully the puzzzle is completed and it will last for eternity. At least u dont need go searching anymore. Doesnt matter whether tall short, fat thin, heavyweight champion or not. Most important is the mixture of chemistry doesnt go bust. Grats again! and hopefully you will enjoy your intern even though Im really gonna miss you lost because you wont be coming back this summer :).

Back to myself, yesterday i suddenly thought. Why do uncles like to go pub? Will i slowly evolve and become like them? I have seen uncles who grab butts and breast.. Deep down, i feel disgusted, dont they have wife? But i guess they need entertainment, everyone is dif.ferent, the needs differrent... and if they dont exist, the all the pub will go bust and nobody will be rich in this world. They say if you have a business in Liqour and Women, your financial will most likely to be more than other people....

Then the pub girls, they are good wage earner's, they will appproach the customer, get the peoples to buy them drink, get them to bring friends, then order more liquor again. As long as the people in the pub willing to spend, they are happy. But the sacifices they need to do... A whole list long. But they are willing, because if they dont, they dont get what they want in life. And that will be really sad. From getting hug (tightly) to grope to Bed to Partner to i dont know what... they really have to give up certain dignity and Im really sorry to say this, body. They provide the pleasure the guys cant get at home ( i guess? )...

To me, i have no discrimination against them, I just feeel... uneasy. And given a chance, i will never wanna walk into pub.. but i know i have lots of friends who like to go the there... i do not know why, even at this *adult age*. I guess adult can be define as young, average, old and etc etc... so there is no limitation whether they should be going now , or later, as long that there is fun for them.

Haihz.. tak tao lar.... i shudnt be thinking of this anyway!! ahahaha...

Over the Limit

2010-03-25T00:47:00.000+08:00

Oh me fucking sohai....

Over did some sohai thing again.. again over the limit.. siao liao lar..... sorry lar... i apologise.... didnt know you didnt like it... pei zui la... sorry........ let u bite, tear, pull ear... anything also can .... Dui bu Qi....

anyhow.. pictures of me with the fishes.... didnt get to post it on the last post....

ALL IN A DAY

2010-03-22T11:58:00.000+08:00

Since i was staying in kampar for the weekend, The phototstat shop Boss, Ah Seng, suggest that we go fishing on the wee hours on Sunday.. I wasnt against the idea, but i was sacrificing my sleep, and i have to open the shop in the afternoon makes me feel .. TIRED :(.

Well, nevertheless being me, i will still say yes, i could be call the YES MAN soon i think...haha... anyhow, so it was plan, Ah Seng, Ah Fan ( one of the co-owner of Hi Speed Photostat ), Shawn, Jacqueline and her friend is going together since they came down and visit Shawn.

Waking up in the morning at 6 am prove too much for me. I decided to sleep another 30 min before i really get up. But everyone was already awake by then, i just got to drag myself up and go with them. We had a short breakfast at the Dim Sum shop in Kampar ( it was not nice, yet not awful, but below average ). and after that, we headed of to EAST LAKE to FISH!!!! hahaha.. my first time, excited, yet having a negative feeling that i wont get any fish at all. Being Patient is not one of my strong point.

Heading down to get a good spot. The first spot, awful! we stayed there for 1 hour and still no fish, looks like i M doomed for the day... so is others...

So when it doesnt work , u change, to get a better spot. So we changed. and the Result? Overwhelming.... even the girls had so much fun, we only had 4 galah...hahah.. i cant recall what is it name in english... and the next thing is im sitting down watching them having fun fishing. and i even came out with the conclusion. We had so many small fish, and only few Big fish, i conclude that the small fish are call STUPID fish and the Big ones are call SMART fish, just like human :).

We took some realli nice pictures and video's, but its with Ah Yap( jac's BFF ), Just got to wait for it before she uploads it. Nevertheless, after the much anticipated fishing trip, we made our way back as the sun was coming out. It is really hot when you are in Kampar! worst than KL, its stuffy, humid, hot, anything that you can relate to the sun they have it all here!

Hence, after having a bath, me and shawn headed down to the shop. Stayed there from 12-7. Then it was time for Jacqueline and her BFF to drive back to KL. We had dinner before she left, then i headed back to my room to wash up. The next thing i know, i collapse. and it is already 9am on monday morning when im wide awake. ALL IN A DAY. Dam. Life is sure short.....

Time Just Flies...

2010-03-22T11:40:00.000+08:00

Always wonder that why time have to go so fast?

Always wonder what will be the next big thing in world?

I never wonder all this, i just know that time is moving at a constant speed, whether we will be able to catch up is a skill, and whether we will be able to follow is depending on ourself.

As much as i like to think, predict and try to plan for the next thing, there is one thing i never tried to do.. that is going against time. It will be futile.

I have been in Kampar for more than 3 days, this is like a record to me. I haven been here for more than 3 days since i dont know when. But it was due to some emergency that my staff's gave me, taking leave all at the same time that left me short handed.

Moreover, i guess its a good thing as well, i have to go and set up a new outlet in Bercham in ipoh and staying back saves me my petrol and toll and expenses. And the best part, i will be able to spend more time in KL the next time i go back.. niceeee :) oh, and another one i to get to fetch my mom personally back to KLIA. she will be leaving back to London on thursday. Damm, i am gonna miss her.

Well, Time do flies... It is only up to us whether we will appreciate the things that goes around us everyday and treasure every single moment of it.

Small Contribution ... Forever Gain ...

2010-03-18T18:35:00.000+08:00

In anywhere, any world... As a parent, as an individual...
If you are eating, a kid says he is hungry,
You will give the kid your good, its a natural intuition.
Therefore, do not always be stingy, do not be calculative,
Because when the day you contribute the most you will find you gain more.
When we are still around, you have to be more considerate, more loving
Give other's the space to live, help them more,
its your gain, your happiness.
In this world, there is still people who still needs You.

If one day u are old, and you cant contribute to the community, nobody needs you anymore,
At this very moment, you might feel really awful,
Therefore, when you still have the ability to help, you should help, at least you will be happier.
Or when you start to age, you will this happiness will leave you further and further.
It maybe short term when you contribute, but you will gain in the long run...
You Will Understand that you yourself has done much even tho you look back through the years..

To be able to help people, is the greatest job in the world, and able to provide a certain consolation to one.
For me, i will always willing to contribute, because i think all these years, i have not been contributing..
and looking back, i have gain nothing...

Gush of Tears

2010-03-16T19:30:00.001+08:00

After a long long day at class, day dreaming on what will be my future life, wondering what is the facilitator crabbing at, and kept myself busy on tit tit ta ta ing on my handphone...

Before i reach home, i purposely made a detour to get my sister a pendrive on the request from my dad. I tried to call him and ask what type of pendrive was sister looking for. He didnt pick up, Well, he did after 10 min, he didnt know as well, so i just went ahead and buy what i think it was appropriate. Couldnt care less, anyway, its just for her leisure use.

Finally! Hommie sweet sweet Hommie... I came into the hse, made myself a hot cup of milo, i was starving!! cant let my stomach go Grueeelling again, its gonna hurt as i have gastric history... All of a sudden...

My dad came down .. and he started raising his voice. Well, being a son, i never wanted to argue back. I never want to argue with him. It was something to do with the pendrive. So as seconds, minutes goes by, his voice was going higher, and i was still gently, calmingly answering all his tantrum. Until one point. I had enough, and i raised my voice to a very high pitch, and i meant, really high till i think that 5 doors down i swear my neighbour could have hear it....

After i *argued*. I realize that i was not patient enough. So i decided to lower my voice again. And at that moment, i felt a gush of tears rushing up my eyes.. i strongly withheld it and didnt allow it to flow. i love my dad, but i dont understand the basis of him getting annoyed for no specific reason.

I hate myself now. worst, i even felt like giving up everything now.

Starvee!!!!

2010-03-14T13:35:00.000+08:00

I just realize i missed Dinner for two nights liaoz..... and now lunch......

Always cannot find the right person to makan with, alll my friends are either busy or they have dinner at home. How i longed that i am back in ipoh and where i always find my meals on the table when i reach home at night. It's like a luxury to me.. I always enjoy the moment, even tho it is just me and my aunt, i will be eating happily away and she will be watching over me...

I m sure if my mom see's this she will be killing me.. But i guess at that time i was too young to appreciate the motherly love she gave me. I always complained that the food is not good... looking back.. i think i should appreciate.. maybe iM too picky...

anyhow, Lunch, any people free?

Over Limit

2010-03-13T21:02:00.000+08:00

Today after a swim, feeling much refreshed, went to my partner's shop to visit them. I had an appointment later with my cousin sister. Both of them. So since i was heading to Selayang, i just decided to drop by kepong and visit them...

After giving my cousie and sister a lift, i headed to midvalley, i hate it when i have to endure the jam to reach there... but lucky i was fortunate enough to get a parking once i get into the parking. I have not had anything since the morning swim and its already 4 PM! im starving!!!!!

So we met up my younger cousin sister as she was in midvalley way before we reached. I tease her a little. and i the worst thing i done was, teasing her and getting her to treat us. :) She has made a name for herself for being Stingy, really stingy, but i thought prolly i could talk her out of it.

As we were walking, i kept TEASING her.. and i mean, really teasiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing..... she was doing quite well, until i think i went over the limit, she cant stand against me anymore. She used to win i guess, so this was one of the time that she felt wordless, then her face started to change, from plain face to BLACK LONG face......

Moreover, we were then sitting on the same table having lunch, judging from her face, she really got annoyed and i could feel that if i continue her tears will start to flow , and that was when i started to repent.. jeez... for so long i knew her... didnt see her like this, i guess she really cant stand me *asking her to treat me *.... well, she did recover eventually after much persuasion, soft talk and etc.

After leaving midvalley, the moment was just running through my mind. re-wind, and re-wind again. You really cant change someone thinking in just 5 min. especially girls. But i think i went over the limit also, i shouldnt have, at least she could at least do not feel so bad.... haihz... i realli do not know... until now i still cant get over it... well, i guess i will just ignore it ....

p/s, in the end i still picked up the bill.... Haihz. Suppose to be a nice day but because of myself it turns out to be one of the most horrible day that i have to endure...

Afraid

2010-03-12T02:41:00.000+08:00

After a conversation today... i felt that i'm starting to change...

Every words that comes out from my mouth, its becoming more stinging. Every terms i use, i applied harshness and full of sarcasm.

I really do not know what and how it happened. They say everything happens for a reason. But i cant find a reason for this change. I really do not want to remember what they said to me. The miao man and team. Hahaha......

I cant sleep again, the insomia is getting back to me after i recovered from my bad cough,. flu and fever that lasted for nearly a week. I hope it doesnt come looking for me again.. because i really do not want to welcome him.

With every sentence that i blurted out during the 1 hour conversation. Nothing but stinging words and sarcasm. Nothing was left.

The most horrible part that i could think of is, if i go on like this, i will be afraid of myself.

Deep Thoughts.....

2010-03-10T10:20:00.000+08:00

How much value do i worth to the community?

How much do i contribute to the community?

How much can i offer to the community?

How useless i am?

How efficient i am?

I've been day dreaming too much.....

Sad, awful and worst, dissapointed.

2010-03-04T03:00:00.000+08:00

This few days, i have been bugged by unnecessary stress...

What i do, i cant get the agreement of everyone. What i say, its either pain to the ear or nonsense, what i think of, its either useless or make no-sense.

Its so hard to please everyone. I dont know what can i do anymore. I cant keep going on like this. Hiding all the sorrows inside my small little heart has taken a toll on me. I started having nightmares, i started having insomia, worst, i even lost my appetite...

I tried to put up a plan, but it doesnt seem to go so well, i tried alternating it, but i got bad remarks on it instead. I try A, B, C, D, E, instead i get Z, Y, X, W, V. .....

I want to talk to someone, but i dont know who to call.. i dont know who to disturb.. Surely no one wants to listen to negative things, humans prefer happiness instead of sorrows....

I always say if u wish upon the sky, make sure there is a lot of star's, or your dream wont come true, because there is too many people and just a few star cant able to fulfill anyone wishes.. but tonight.. there is no STAR insight at all.. which makes me feel more dissapointed.... sweet dreams.... its really very awful...

Wasted!

2010-02-28T02:15:00.002+08:00

Today No Huat!

Today Nothing to do!

Today is totally wasted!

Refreshed!

2010-02-27T11:19:00.002+08:00

After a good night sleep, and a morning swim, now i feel refreshed!!

Time to hit the streets.... Huat ah!!!!!