Expectation
I thought today will turn out to be a moderate day for me, it turn out to be an poor day for me. It sucks to be just me.
Expectations can really kill someone at times, but yet it can also propel one to be a better person. However, at times, expectations really make someone go crazy, for instance, me.
I always expected myself to be great, special, but of course, all this was just pure day-dreaming. It turn out that i am just one commoner among others. Not much of a difference from other people.
I always expected myself to be able to juggle lots of things in my life. But yet again and again i fell, miserably.I really hope i can do. I really do.
I always have the tendency to tell myself, i have to be rich, because i am poor. i have to be a millionaire, at most by 30 years old. But now i see that dream fading..
I am obsessed about myself "in a good manner", i always strive to be the best, i dont want to lose out to anybody at all. Should there be anywhere i can be better i will do it. Anything that i can improve i will ask and see how can i do it.
For example, i use to be a loser in basketball. I cant play basketball properly. I started when i was young, but took a long break and never touch it again. Till i mix with another group of people. Basketball was the "man" game. I was poor in the game. And i dislike losing. I started playing from morning 8-10, evening 4-8. I was determine to learn the skills of it. The real GAME. I succeeded. I got myself into the college team. Barely a 2 years i played. I was quite good at the game. Maybe it was due to my height, it was easier for me to pick up the game.
I even got in the Petaling team. Which i thought it was the highlight for my basketball life. Some of my friends who is pretty good and in the school team, didn't made it as far as i did. It was something that i could shout about. Something that i felt proud of till today. It was the expectations that drove me this far, and till today, im still proud to share if im asked when did i pick up this game.
I used to be plump, horrible, big and ugly. I didn't expect myself to get a pretty girlfriend. Anyone moderate will have been great to me. I didn't expect myself to change drastically to be someone better. I was proud, happy that i have a girlfriend now, pretty, caring and etc etc. (i am not gonna praise so much in case there is some people out there wondering who is she) .. SHE is mine.. =)
However, these days, i expect myself too much. I put too much expectations on myself till i fail miserably. It is a really hard fall, a heartbreak to me. I did not expect as much as i do last time, i do not have the courage anymore.
Till to date, i still expect, but with a cautious heart, it isn't me anymore. it's CRAZY, fortunately , it's just me.
Expectations can really kill someone at times, but yet it can also propel one to be a better person. However, at times, expectations really make someone go crazy, for instance, me.
I always expected myself to be great, special, but of course, all this was just pure day-dreaming. It turn out that i am just one commoner among others. Not much of a difference from other people.
I always expected myself to be able to juggle lots of things in my life. But yet again and again i fell, miserably.I really hope i can do. I really do.
I always have the tendency to tell myself, i have to be rich, because i am poor. i have to be a millionaire, at most by 30 years old. But now i see that dream fading..
I am obsessed about myself "in a good manner", i always strive to be the best, i dont want to lose out to anybody at all. Should there be anywhere i can be better i will do it. Anything that i can improve i will ask and see how can i do it.
For example, i use to be a loser in basketball. I cant play basketball properly. I started when i was young, but took a long break and never touch it again. Till i mix with another group of people. Basketball was the "man" game. I was poor in the game. And i dislike losing. I started playing from morning 8-10, evening 4-8. I was determine to learn the skills of it. The real GAME. I succeeded. I got myself into the college team. Barely a 2 years i played. I was quite good at the game. Maybe it was due to my height, it was easier for me to pick up the game.
I even got in the Petaling team. Which i thought it was the highlight for my basketball life. Some of my friends who is pretty good and in the school team, didn't made it as far as i did. It was something that i could shout about. Something that i felt proud of till today. It was the expectations that drove me this far, and till today, im still proud to share if im asked when did i pick up this game.
I used to be plump, horrible, big and ugly. I didn't expect myself to get a pretty girlfriend. Anyone moderate will have been great to me. I didn't expect myself to change drastically to be someone better. I was proud, happy that i have a girlfriend now, pretty, caring and etc etc. (i am not gonna praise so much in case there is some people out there wondering who is she) .. SHE is mine.. =)
However, these days, i expect myself too much. I put too much expectations on myself till i fail miserably. It is a really hard fall, a heartbreak to me. I did not expect as much as i do last time, i do not have the courage anymore.
Till to date, i still expect, but with a cautious heart, it isn't me anymore. it's CRAZY, fortunately , it's just me.
posted by Crazy Pin : a person which is extremely Lazy!! + Crazy !! at
9:27 PM
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