Sleepless Nights....

Oh My God...

I keep having sleepless nights.. this is the 4th night where i am unable to close my eyes in peace.. i do not know why.. i am very sleepy but yet i cant tkae things of my mind...

I hate myself, i hate myself for not being competitve enough, i hate myself for not being strong enough.. i hate myself for a lot of things.. but in another side, i love myself, i do not know why but i know if i do not love myself then i will be deep trouble....

I m in desperate need for a hug, i really do. But i do not want to hug anybody now. I could even do with a small peck on the cheek. But yet i do not feel like it now.

Im really problematic till i do not know what is happening to myself. Im having fears that i do not have before and it is killing me very very slowly....

I hope that all this will be just a dream. At least when i wakes up the nightmare will be gone.