Expectation

I thought today will turn out to be a moderate day for me, it turn out to be an poor day for me. It sucks to be just me.

Expectations can really kill someone at times, but yet it can also propel one to be a better person. However, at times, expectations really make someone go crazy, for instance, me.

I always expected myself to be great, special, but of course, all this was just pure day-dreaming. It turn out that i am just one commoner among others. Not much of a difference from other people.

I always expected myself to be able to juggle lots of things in my life. But yet again and again i fell, miserably.I really hope i can do. I really do.

I always have the tendency to tell myself, i have to be rich, because i am poor. i have to be a millionaire, at most by 30 years old. But now i see that dream fading..

I am obsessed about myself "in a good manner", i always strive to be the best, i dont want to lose out to anybody at all. Should there be anywhere i can be better i will do it. Anything that i can improve i will ask and see how can i do it.

For example, i use to be a loser in basketball. I cant play basketball properly. I started when i was young, but took a long break and never touch it again. Till i mix with another group of people. Basketball was the "man" game. I was poor in the game. And i dislike losing. I started playing from morning 8-10, evening 4-8. I was determine to learn the skills of it. The real GAME. I succeeded. I got myself into the college team. Barely a 2 years i played. I was quite good at the game. Maybe it was due to my height, it was easier for me to pick up the game.
I even got in the Petaling team. Which i thought it was the highlight for my basketball life. Some of my friends who is pretty good and in the school team, didn't made it as far as i did. It was something that i could shout about. Something that i felt proud of till today. It was the expectations that drove me this far, and till today, im still proud to share if im asked when did i pick up this game.

I used to be plump, horrible, big and ugly. I didn't expect myself to get a pretty girlfriend. Anyone moderate will have been great to me. I didn't expect myself to change drastically to be someone better. I was proud, happy that i have a girlfriend now, pretty, caring and etc etc. (i am not gonna praise so much in case there is some people out there wondering who is she) .. SHE is mine.. =)

However, these days, i expect myself too much. I put too much expectations on myself till i fail miserably. It is a really hard fall, a heartbreak to me. I did not expect as much as i do last time, i do not have the courage anymore.

Till to date, i still expect, but with a cautious heart, it isn't me anymore. it's CRAZY, fortunately , it's just me.

Later in Sunday Evening....

Let me show you some pictures, and figure it out yourself what happened. :)

I look so bloody "AQUA Heere"!!!

Wee Pin: What is inside??
Ye Fen: See for yourself...
Wee Pin: Dont want lar...


Wee Pin: Borrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing.
Ye Fen : Shut up and Wait.....

OKay... Finally we leave that horrible place.. i dont know what is so exciting by just peeping inside.... unless they have Jessica Alba inside.. "ahem ahem" a bit.. then most probably i will stay there long enough to enjoy it.

FOod!! Finally!!

Ye Fen : Im Hungry alreaD... can you stop taking pictures??!?!
Wee Pin: Just 1 last Shot... Just 1 more..


Ta Daa!!!!!

She wont let me take 1 last shot ( Just kidding ).. Starting to eat Yummie Yummie.. Will update more ..!

All on a Sunday

Yooohoo!

Sunday has finally arrive!! Unfortunately, i have to work.. "i am definitely not loving it"

I have to work in Matta Fair, it was horrible, dreadful to work on a Sunday.. but what to do.. i am just a small cikurat in ETIQA, have to work like cow, goat and rat for my pay......

Let me show you some exciting picture of the fair.

VISIT JAPAN!! Nice hut .. :P or a window.. i pun tak tao...

Crowded.. decided to just "SNAP".... not a very nice view though :)

MAS, Temptations booth, just right behind or booth, selling souvenirs and planes...

Etiqa Booth!! MAS TRAVEL INSURANCE... WOO HOO HOO! ( look at the upper right, ETIQA)

All BRICE Cheap!! BUY BUY BUY!!!

Korea..... Sparkling.. but my camera makes it look Dimmmmm.....

Don't be shock people, on the next picture ... i went to a garden, it was realy fantastic.. you wont beliV they have it here in malaysia... seriously...

WOW!!!!! It's just like a bloody poster man!! that garden was soooo real!!!!

I PRESENT you! the REALITY!!!!


Wahahhaa.... pardon me for the lamefullness.... i was BORED.

Next Matta Fair, October. C you There!

Disappointment

I thought .. there was hope..

But.. it vanished in just a matter of seconds.

Now i cant sleep, because,


I am DISAPPOINTED.

WRONG place, WRONG time

Have you ever thought, what if i did not do this, what if i do that?

What if i am at the right place, What if i am at the right time?

What if its like that, What if .....

There is a lot of times where people wonder if ever their action or words shown
are at the right time and right place. Often, it goes vice-versa. It is not perfect, unless,
of course, you have six sense.

I have been through stages like this before, till today i still find it hard to get it off my mind
after i have done something wrong. I always wonder, What should i have done, If i would
have do this, will it not happen? What am i always at the wrong place at a wrong time. Why
am i always the victim of saying things at the wrong time?

I understand that my queries will never be answered, and it often tortures my brain into
unnecessary vibration that causes me to age faster than usual. I always have to eat back my words, often, deny what I've said before.

I am confused, sad, emotionally disrupted on the current situation, but i am a patient man, i often wait, often doesn't give up until the end of time. I wait, truly from the bottom of my heart.

Here i am, 3 am in the morning, pondering, will i ever get to be at the right place and the right
time?

Forgiving & Forgetting

Forgiving, is never easy.

Forgetting, is even harder.

Often, a lot of things, people will forgive, but no matter how much they forgive,
it will be very hard to forget, or should i say, it will never be forgotten..

When i think about the horrible things, i will just escape it by sleeping. A doctor once told
me, to be able to forgive, you must sleep, and think rationally. But to forget,
don't even try because you will never do.

Everything that happen is a past, people ask for forgiveness is to meant they are sorry &
do their best in rectifying mistakes. Mistakes happens, but to a certain limit.

People are human beings, they are not flawless, No one is, not even machine.

Should anyone that is reading this, take 5 minutes, think about the revenge that you
were trying to get, think about people that is asking for forgiveness. Forgive them, throw it away, don't keep it and stressed about it.

With this, i wish you all a better, stress free and longer life.

Planning

Planning, everyone has to plan. To plan for holidays, to plan for future,
to plan for leisure.. bla bla bla....

Speaking about planning, i thought i had everything in hand, till it went out of control.
i had to study on Saturday, which means i don't have anymore time in broad day light.
i only have time after 7...
Weekdays i had to work, at least until 8 i say, then after that is my FREE time.
Thank god there is Sunday, which is my FREE TIME. However! ! for this few weeks, i
don't have a Sunday, i don't know why , but matters just pop in for no reasons.. it's..
a horrible surprise.

i told my darling, this darling, ( i was reluctant to post her because i wanted her all for myself) and yea, she is still mine...
nothing in this world matter more than her. ( Doesn't she look pretty?)


and i think.. my schedule, unexpected events, may had caught her by surprise
as well, as she didn't sound too happy with it.. "SO AM I"

I don't know, i just don't know how to answer question anymore. it's all,
so unexpected. it was..

CRAZY...

Human Traffic

Traffic Jams is very common among Malaysian. Not only traffic jam,
human traffic as well. i was attending training in Etiqa twins for 2 days, and
it was really horrible because i have to take the train there to avoid traffic jams
when im going there or going back. So i practically park my car at Dataran
Maybank and hope into the train.

I did avoid the traffic jam, but instead, view as below my dear viewers!
Horrible Horrible. Just look at the population! and i am just another normal person
like everybody else.





Just look at the morning traffic....

People going in and out .....


Not even a pole is available for me to hold on!


Going up.... up up to sufffer!!


Everyone just walk... and keep walking...


and this is me.. im rushing as well... for training... Gosh!

I dont know why they keep sending us for training for branding... but its all in the company policy, and the worst part is u cant go against it.

Well, after a day training, i left back to office.. and SURPRISE! ! !

I was like... stunned when they told me about the news... i had to work on sunday.. i was like... what is going on??? why do i have to keep working on weekends???? i was dumbfounded.. they just said that its compulsory to go to the MATTA FAIR, everyone has a fair share. Everyone will have to be there... that is what a marketer job... i was like.. omigod...

In the end, i still have to give in to it... i was practically complaining to my colleague, azam, i have to attend classes on Saturday and now this thing on Sunday. When am i getting my free day?!?!?
He shook his head as well, guessed he didn't have any answers for me..

Now im DOOMED...

Studying

Studying is Dreadful, when you don't feel like it.

Studying is Horrible, when you feel like why do you ever need to do it.

Studying is Boring, words and fullstops makes it ALL boring.

Studying is like a passport. IS IT REALLY?

Studying makes you go to dreamland in matter of seconds.

Studying, Studying and Studying....

I'm Sleepy now.

p/s: Hey BOOK, I'll read you when i see you .

Nitez

Brain Dead

Phone Battery Dead
"auto shut off"

BODY DEAD
"auto shut down"

Brain DEAD
"IMMEDIATE SHUT OFF"

I am leaving the Indon on 19th to 23rd. I hope i m not Dead in everything before i leave. I have to much too lose if i burnt out.

"OFF"

NBA Girls

I have been moody the whole day, i was surfing the
scores in NBA.com. Suddenly this pictures caught my
naked eye.





















(http://www.nba.com/bucks/dance/Energee_Jennifer0708.html)


Don't get me wrong, im not advertising her or whatsoever, but if you would like to vote for her team which is the BUCKS in the NBA, u can do so in NBA.com. They even have an ALL-STAR for these girls as well. Talk about being fair on Sexes. NBA certainly have thought a lot and come out with these programs.

Nevertheless, even with this posting, i still don't feel good. i drooled for today to past, a day to be forgotten. Yet, times is so slow when you want it to be fast.

Being Alone

It’s still all new to me, looking back on the last date I post a blog, you would have guess I have been MIA.

I didn’t go MIA, I just wasn’t alone. Someone was there for me, to care, to love and to cherish every moment that was with me.

I am hopeless when comes to decision making, I can’t be decisive enough and often I make mistakes because of this. I just have this tidak – apa attitude where I cant be bothered much what is happening around me and what other people think and care about me. All I cared was just her, all I wanted is she.

It all started back at September, when my house was on Fire, and that was when I had to handle everything myself. From cleaning, finding a place for me and my sis to stay, practically A to Z . Or maybe more. And that is when I did a fatal mistake, which caused someone to suffer it till forever.

I admit that I was really stupid at that time at that moment. I was just NOT sensitive enough, it was just me, the stupid me. Tears flowed that night; even the i felt that the rain and thunder god was around, yet it was too late.

I regretted my action till today. I pledge for forgiveness. I practically beg at one stage. There was no dignity at all. But for HER, what the hell, it was worthwhile.

Times Flies, its several months since that chapter happen, just when i thought i can put my dreadful past behind, it had came back to haunt me and hurt her badly. You know who you are. It wasnt fair to her, and she didnt deserve that, but what is done is done. If time can be traded with life span, i will trade mine to rectify my mistake. Reality is, i cant. I am truly Sorry, again, for whoever i hurt last time. I truly am.


So, now im alone, what's Next?