Re-Brand

I never need to make *BIG* decisive decision, which will either affect me, my family, my friends, my life, my future or present.

But as i grow *older*, i realize there is alot of decision to make, the right decision will prove vital for the next move. The wrong one, even tho it will recover, it will already cause an impact that will arise the *regret* feeling everytime you thought about it..

I used to watch action movie alot during my younger days, and i always at awe looking at the heroes making the right decision and being there at the right time. I always thought they knew what was gonna happen, well, when we were young, dont we all thought everything on tv was real?

Time flies, reality proves the other way. Everyone need to make a decision to move on. Whether its relationship, job, intangible/tangible goods.. everything.. Good Decision will earn praise from the others, the bad ones, get critisize and leaves a mark on the journey of live.

Till today, i still felt that im so immature, *tian Zhen* some people say, always unaware what is other people doing, never doubt at all. Im trying to overcome this weakness, i always think that world is round and what comes around goes around, and all the decision making i always tend to put others before me, myself and I. You can see from this picture, im really like a young, orange donald duck with no worries posing for a picture...



Im glad some people tells me about the mistake im doing, some people advice me what is going on, some people offered their assistance to me if im in trouble.

Considering the fact that if i were to continue being like this, i am not going anywhere, therefore, i need to make a strong stand. Speak like i never speak before, Talk like i never talk before, warp into a pool of change, a change to be a tougher person. Other's might dislike it, but at least they will have to accept it. and to be that i have to..

Re-Brand Myself.

Mixed Feelings...

Today i went a few places, had some fun, its been a while since i had fun... but i still dont enjoy it to the max... i do not know why.. i still feel that im not happy enough... i do not know how to be really happy anymore... gosh..

Im happy, yet i dont feel happy, im not sad, but i felt a little bit out of place, im tired, but i cant sleep.... gosh....

Haihz... just to make myself happy.. Post a chicken wing picture!! hahaha..

Nice chicken wing!! Nice Nice.. look at below pic.. but u cant get it in KL tho.. :P

If's

Everyday i see accident happens, regardless what accidents, anything that cost human life is an accident, and it makes me very sad... so practically everyday i pray for the family victims, for them to get over it is so tough.. I myself went through one... it was a really unpleasant..

I do not know why must this happen, but it somehow makes people feel that we should appreciate and treasure life more. It may not do for other people. But it certainly worked for me.

I hate to see things like this happen, and i certainly prefer if it does not happen at all. Understand that it is inevitable that incidents like these happens.... But if it's at a smaller scale, probably it will be much better to the world and everyone will be happy...

Appreciate your family members, appreciate whoever is around you.

If you have someone who you want to confess, confess, dont let it wait, waiting might cost you.
If you stumbled upon an opportunity, grab it, because opportunity doesnt wait.
If there is always something in mind, share it, before it goes to waste.
If there is a problem, share it. solve it before it becomes a disaster.

There is a lot of If's, not all happens at once. If it does happen, embrace it.

Running with time

Few Months ago, time to me was nothing, i was moving with time, adjusting to it. Harmonizing myself wit it.

Now, I am running with time, or should i put it, trying to outrun it. I came to realize that everyday is precious, whe one thing didnt turn out well, moving on is important, stagnant is = wasting time.

Like i always say, for me, without money, means i failed to be succesful, that is why i am trying to make myself a succesful one by going around, sourcing for ideas, learn, and applied it. But i came to realize there was not enough time for me. I do not know why, but end of the day, even tho i felt that i have lived my day, i still felt there is lack of something...

With my workload now, commitment, and hardwork, it was cuz of some1. The sentence made from that some1 kicked me out of my idiotic thought. Got me awake, understanding how much time i wasted last time. Obviously i kept it all inside. Being the typical me, its pretty hard for me to be expressive in terms of emotion.

The person made me realize a few things, things that was inevitable, things that will only work out if there is a chemistry, problems that will arise if action wasnt made. And to be really honest, i did all these cuz of what was spoken.

Now that all this thing is taking up my time and my mind, i will start thinking.. Is all this hardwork worth it?

But it is really Tired, very tired to run with the time....

When can i say i am successful?

When can i say im succesful?

When im rich?
When im healthy?
When i have no worries?
When the sun dont shine on me anymore?
When the moon doesnt come out at night anymore?

I do not know... but i hope one day i will be able to tell someone, i think im already a successful person....

Avoiding Arguments

I personally hate arguments, not mentioning fights, I despite those that argue for no bloody reason, i dislike and always feel turned off by those who wants to start an arguments for no concrete reason.

Time flies, people change, now i do not feel the way i felt last time, i still despite these people, but i do not hate them anymore. There must be a reason for them to get angry or to get into an argument, everyone is different, even tho we are the same, with a heart, 2 eyes, a mouth and da da da.. but the way we were brought up, the way we were taught, plays a very important role in our life.

These days, i try to avoid as much arguments as i can, i do not want to be involve in it, neither start it. i start to accommodate to other people when something is not right... ( which i think its bad ). But i will feel better as there is no quarreling and i am able to please someone.

However, as i was writing this, i nearly got into an argument again, but i choose to tone down my voice and listen to the other party, guess what? it turns out to be just a slight miscommunication and there is even a small surprise beneath it! haha.. speaking about luck... this is all the small little luck i really need...

Arguments, Cant live with it, can live without it ;)

p/s - i think i really do talk a lot of meaningless and nonsenseness of Engulish ....

Century Post

Finally, i have reached my century post... its been a while.. a long long while..

I had a torrid time today. Plans went awry. Not 1. Not even 2, many.. What a disappointment to myself. However, unexpected circumstances will always be there and it will be better accepting it rather than going against it..

Also, i learned something today. People always do say money doesnt matter. I was starting to believe in that.. but today, a small blip happen and so much so i believe that the factor is really there, regardless of the business world or the outside world. Anything that does with the $$$ is never good. People get disappointed,depress, sad, unhappy of it.

But on the other hand, i think that if someone were to take it slowly and work hard, i believe he will be there, he may not have the $$$ now, But he will have it one day. Unless he gives up...

I really hope that sometimes time $$$ wont be the full factor, i really hope so.. and im so sad about it that i have to admit that it is not that i always say that $$$ is so important.. but it really is....

Gosh, i really do not want to think anymore. I am thinking of too many shits now... time to go off...

Distance

Last time i used to think that travelling is always a drag.. it involves distance, petrol, toll and etc etc. It is a waste of cost and energy to travel.

However, everything changed recently. I do not feel that drag anymore. I felt happier when i travel, it gives me time off, it gives me the short period of time relax, it gives me a sense of time to be todate.

Its again at 2.35.. one of the nights again.. gosh, M really getting realli really tired... stomach start to cramp again..

Nitez, till i write again...

Sleepless Nights....

Oh My God...

I keep having sleepless nights.. this is the 4th night where i am unable to close my eyes in peace.. i do not know why.. i am very sleepy but yet i cant tkae things of my mind...

I hate myself, i hate myself for not being competitve enough, i hate myself for not being strong enough.. i hate myself for a lot of things.. but in another side, i love myself, i do not know why but i know if i do not love myself then i will be deep trouble....

I m in desperate need for a hug, i really do. But i do not want to hug anybody now. I could even do with a small peck on the cheek. But yet i do not feel like it now.

Im really problematic till i do not know what is happening to myself. Im having fears that i do not have before and it is killing me very very slowly....

I hope that all this will be just a dream. At least when i wakes up the nightmare will be gone.