11 PM.

I felt Im falling back to my secondary school routine.

Yum cha now. Driving out now to yum cha. And I wont know what time I will be back. Hurray :)

BREAKFAST! LUNCH! DINNER!

I dont want where i am now!! breakfast lunch dinner all nobody accompany eat!!!! All busy!!!!!!

HOU SIEN AH!!! SIEN SIEN SIEN SIEN!!!

CALL PPL NO FREE TALK
SMS PPL NO FREE REPLY

THIS WORLD REALLY NO FREE THINGS... GERAM nye ku....

Raining Raining Raining...

Its 5.30 PM now, and it’s been raining for the past 1 hour... I love when it rains, it washes away dirt and clog on the road, washes away the heat wave that everyone has to endure. The best part for me; it makes memories come flying back, whether it’s a happy one or a sad one.


Looking back, 3 years ago, I was in Etiqa, every time when it rains, I always go to the window and look down, pity all the cars that is stuck in a jam, the people who needs an umbrella to get to one place. Looking out, I always dream, when will be the day that I will not need to work for other people. I will have the free time that I need, working hard and doing stuffs that I enjoy.

Every drop of rain that hits the window, makes a nice song, sometimes even with a drum of lighting that gives you a shock. Standing by the window was one of my favorite spot in the office. My colleagues always asked me why I am standing there. But they never knew what I was thinking..  Probably they thought I was day dreaming away again. This is one of the picture i took when i was still working back then...

Also, when it rain, it makes me think of my friends... haha.. How they love rain. I have a friend who is in particular loves it. That is because he says that he can court a girl in the rain. I still recall there was once, I fetch him out for a drink, then he saw her favorite gal at mamak, and it was raining heavily, suddenly, the gal asked whether he had an umbrella. He didn’t!! I had, but it’s in the car! And I needed to run to the car under the rain, fetch an umbrella just to help him out. He got his wish anyway. And I’m drenched from the running… But I’m glad he was happy about it. Really stupid what guys will do to make a girl happy, not excluding me as well.

Well, for bad memories, its better that I skip it, M trying to forget all. 

Hmm.. Dreaming back, 3 years ago, I still had a gf, she always complained that I do not have enough time for her. So I made a vow to myself. I always make vows without realizing whether I could accomplish it a not. Haha.. So yea, you can call me a dreamer. The vow was, after 3 years, when I saved enough; I will come out and start something on my own. Then we will have the free time we need. However, at this very moment, I am here, home, having all the free time. But Single. It’s funny how life can turn out. One moment you can have something, just in a short span, you realize so many things has changed. Guess this moment is going to stay for a very long time... Wonder when she will surface, hopefully she will appear… like an angel. Then I don’t need to day dream anymore. She sure will be in my dream every single night....

Anyhow, its still raining... Guess it really washed the whole Malaysia Clean Clean before he leaves, leaving behind is a scent of fresh smell and new hope for all the people out there...

Few Pictures from past few outings....

CAMERON HIGHLANDS........

ArmPit Smells extremely good in Cameron.....

The Mutiple Strawberry Cigar Smoker....

The Three small to BIG devils....

Strawberry Cigar Smoker.....

The Group that went up there......

Time to Wake up.

Human's are creatures who loves new, exciting stuffs. So i presume...

Today i had a friend calling me, i dont understand why i always get all this calls.. not even a love expert! hahahaha.....

So the stories goes like this.... ohz, before i start, the *friend* is a gal. Pretty, soft spoken, nice, and etc. Very good girl. I would say, err.. very nice gal. Hahaha... i have lots of people telling me to go after her as well... but nah.. Thanks!

Well, she called and tell me stuff's that the guy did. Awful stuff;s.. From what i can gather, the guy was quite a decent guy, well like and nice guy.  But i didnt expect his ego to be that awful. His attitude to be that bad, generally speaking, he is a well maintaned and i would say patient guy... well, anyhow, the guy was realli nice to the girl... very nice indeed.. and i *approve* their rship...hahahahaha.. gave my blessing to them!! the age gap was there tho ( i just knew just now ) .. but ahah..... somemore the girl also say nothing wrong when i asked, ahaha,, cause im surprised! .. so what can i say? lolx!

But everything changed after the guy got together with her. His attitude change, His character, he starts being picky, possesive, even say things that will hurt the gal...Jealousy hits him when she talks to other guys... and etc... When the gal ask me why that guy changed, i really didnt say much, i didnt know what to say. Just only told her that if the guy do this often, then dont bother continue it...hahahaha ( Ngek ngek ngek... wanna destroy their rship ) :P.. but nah.. just that i know her character well, she will just keep quiet if the guy do things like that.... and her heart very soft soft one.... very fast melt....

anyway, i do not know what to say more after that...  i just told her that the guy deserve another chance if she really likes him.. even thou they are still at a very early stage. But i can tell the gal likes him, if not she wont get together with him!

I can only tell the guy, Dont Just Treasure things that you haven gotten, You must treasure the things that you have gotten.

You can use love to get the whole world. but jealousy can also cause you to lose everything you have.... Time to wake up. My dear friend.

Just like the cendol. Its boring with the Ice only. When you have the toppings, then you will treasure the sweetness, redbeanness, and the cendolness that comes with it.

Just a little thoughts here and there.....

Firstly, Grats to my Bro, I M happy for you, at last .. right? Hopefully the puzzzle is completed and it will last for eternity. At least u dont need go searching anymore. Doesnt matter whether tall short, fat thin, heavyweight champion or not. Most important is the mixture of chemistry doesnt go bust. Grats again! and hopefully you will enjoy your intern even though Im really gonna miss you lost because you wont be coming back this summer :).

Back to myself, yesterday i suddenly thought. Why do uncles like to go pub? Will i slowly evolve and become like them? I have seen uncles who grab butts and breast.. Deep down, i feel disgusted, dont they have wife? But i guess they need entertainment, everyone is dif.ferent, the needs differrent... and if they dont exist, the all the pub will go bust and nobody will be rich in this world. They say if you have a business in Liqour and Women, your financial will most likely to be more than other people....

Then the pub girls, they are good wage earner's, they will appproach the customer, get the peoples to buy them drink, get them to bring friends, then order more liquor again. As long as the people in the pub willing to spend, they are happy. But the sacifices they need to do... A whole list long. But they are willing, because if they dont, they dont get what they want in life. And that will be really sad. From getting hug (tightly) to grope to Bed to Partner to i dont know what...  they really have to give up certain dignity and Im really sorry to say this, body. They provide the pleasure the guys cant get at home ( i guess? )...

To me, i have no discrimination against them, I just feeel... uneasy. And given a chance, i will never wanna walk into pub.. but i know i have lots of friends who like to go the there... i do not know why, even at this *adult age*. I guess adult can be define as young, average, old and etc etc... so there is no limitation whether they should be going now , or  later, as long that there is fun for them.

Haihz.. tak tao lar.... i shudnt be thinking of this anyway!! ahahaha... 

Over the Limit

Oh me fucking sohai....

Over did some sohai thing again.. again over the limit.. siao liao lar..... sorry lar... i apologise.... didnt know you didnt like it... pei zui la... sorry........ let u bite, tear, pull ear... anything also can .... Dui bu Qi....

anyhow.. pictures of me with the fishes.... didnt get to post it on the last post....

ALL IN A DAY

Since i was staying in kampar for the weekend, The phototstat shop Boss, Ah Seng, suggest that we go fishing on the wee hours on Sunday.. I wasnt against the idea, but i was sacrificing my sleep, and i have to open the shop in the afternoon makes me feel .. TIRED :(.

Well, nevertheless being me, i will still say yes, i could be call the YES MAN soon i think...haha... anyhow, so it was plan, Ah Seng, Ah Fan ( one of the co-owner of Hi Speed Photostat ), Shawn, Jacqueline and her friend is going together since they came down and visit Shawn.

Waking up in the morning at 6 am prove too much for me. I decided to sleep another 30 min before i really get up. But everyone was already awake by then, i just got to drag myself up and go with them. We had a short breakfast at the Dim Sum shop in Kampar ( it was not nice, yet not awful, but below average ). and after that, we headed of to EAST LAKE to FISH!!!! hahaha.. my first time, excited, yet having a negative feeling that i wont get any fish at all. Being Patient is not one of my strong point.

Heading down to get a good spot. The first spot, awful! we stayed there for 1 hour and still no fish, looks like i M doomed for the day... so is others...

So when it doesnt work , u change, to get a better spot. So we changed. and the Result? Overwhelming.... even the girls had so much fun, we only had 4 galah...hahah.. i cant recall what is it name in english... and the next thing is im sitting down watching them having fun fishing. and i even came out with the conclusion. We had so many small fish, and only few Big fish, i conclude that the small fish are call STUPID fish and the Big ones are call SMART fish, just like human :).

We took some realli nice pictures and video's, but its with Ah Yap( jac's BFF ), Just got to wait for it before she uploads it. Nevertheless, after the much anticipated fishing trip, we made our way back as the sun was coming out. It is really hot when you are in Kampar! worst than KL, its stuffy, humid, hot, anything that you can relate to the sun they have it all here!

Hence, after having a bath, me and shawn headed down to the shop. Stayed there from 12-7. Then it was time for Jacqueline and her BFF to drive back to KL. We had dinner before she left, then i headed back to my room to wash up. The next thing i know, i collapse. and it is already 9am on monday morning when im wide awake. ALL IN A DAY. Dam. Life is sure short.....

Time Just Flies...

Always wonder that why time have to go so fast?

Always wonder what will be the next big thing in world?

I never wonder all this, i just know that time is moving at a constant speed, whether we will be able to catch up is a skill, and whether we will be able to follow is depending on ourself.

As much as i like to think, predict and try to plan for the next thing, there is one thing i never tried to do.. that is going against time. It will be futile.

I have been in Kampar for more than 3 days, this is like a record to me. I haven been here for more than 3 days since i dont know when. But it was due to some emergency that my staff's gave me, taking leave all at the same time that left me short handed.

Moreover, i guess its a good thing as well, i have to go and set up a new outlet in Bercham in ipoh and staying back saves me my petrol and toll and expenses. And the best part, i will be able to spend more time in KL the next time i go back.. niceeee :) oh, and another one i to get to fetch my mom personally back to KLIA. she will be leaving back to London on thursday. Damm, i am gonna miss her.

Well, Time do flies... It is only up to us whether we will appreciate the things that goes around us everyday and treasure every single moment of it.

Small Contribution ... Forever Gain ...

In anywhere, any world... As a parent, as an individual...
If you are eating, a kid says he is hungry,
You will give the kid your good, its a natural intuition.
Therefore, do not always be stingy, do not be calculative,
Because when the day you contribute the most you will find you gain more.
When we are still around, you have to be more considerate, more loving
Give other's the space to live, help them more,
its your gain, your happiness.
In this world, there is still people who still needs You.

If one day u are old, and you cant contribute to the community, nobody needs you anymore,
At this very moment, you might feel really awful,
Therefore, when you still have the ability to help, you should help, at least you will be happier.
Or when you start to age, you will this happiness will leave you further and further.
It maybe short term when you contribute, but you will gain in the long run...
You Will Understand that you yourself has done much even tho you look back through the years..

To be able to help people, is the greatest job in the world, and able to provide a certain consolation to one.
For me, i will always willing to contribute, because i think all these years, i have not been contributing..
and looking back, i have gain nothing...

Gush of Tears

After a long long day at class, day dreaming on what will be my future life, wondering what is the facilitator crabbing at, and kept myself busy on tit tit ta ta ing on my handphone...

Before i reach home, i purposely made a detour to get my sister a pendrive on the request from my dad. I tried to call him and ask what type of pendrive was sister looking for. He didnt pick up, Well, he did after 10 min, he didnt know as well, so i just went ahead and buy what i think it was appropriate. Couldnt care less, anyway, its just for her leisure use.

Finally! Hommie sweet sweet Hommie... I came into the hse, made myself a hot cup of milo, i was starving!! cant let my stomach go Grueeelling again, its gonna hurt as i have gastric history... All of a sudden...

My dad came down .. and he started raising his voice. Well, being a son, i never wanted to argue back. I never want to argue with him. It was something to do with the pendrive. So as seconds, minutes goes by, his voice was going higher, and i was still gently, calmingly answering all his tantrum. Until one point. I had enough, and i raised my voice to a very high pitch, and i meant, really high till i think that 5 doors down i swear my neighbour could have hear it....

After i *argued*. I realize that i was not patient enough. So i decided to lower my voice again. And at that moment, i felt a gush of tears rushing up my eyes.. i strongly withheld it and didnt allow it to flow. i love my dad, but i dont understand the basis of him getting annoyed for no specific reason.

I hate myself now. worst, i even felt like giving up everything now.

Starvee!!!!

I just realize i  missed Dinner for two nights liaoz..... and now lunch......

Always cannot find the right person to makan with, alll my friends are either busy or they have dinner at home. How i longed that i am back in ipoh and where i always find my meals on the table when i reach home at night. It's like a luxury to me.. I always enjoy the moment, even tho it is just me and my aunt, i will be eating happily away and she will be watching over me...

I m sure if my mom see's this she will be killing me.. But i guess at that time i was too young to appreciate the motherly love she gave me. I always complained that the food is not good... looking back.. i think i should appreciate.. maybe iM too picky...

anyhow, Lunch, any people free?

Over Limit

Today after a swim, feeling much refreshed, went to my partner's shop to visit them. I had an appointment later with my cousin sister. Both of them. So since i was heading to Selayang, i just decided to drop by kepong and visit them...

After giving my cousie and sister a lift, i headed to midvalley, i hate it when i have to endure the jam to reach there... but lucky i was fortunate enough to get a parking once i get into the parking. I have not had anything since the morning swim and its already 4 PM! im starving!!!!!

So we met up my younger cousin sister as she was in midvalley way before we reached. I tease her a little. and i the worst thing i done was, teasing her and getting her to treat us. :) She has made a name for herself for being Stingy, really stingy, but i thought prolly i could talk her out of it.

As we were walking, i kept TEASING her.. and i mean, really teasiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing.....  she was doing quite well, until i think i went over the limit, she cant stand against me anymore. She used to win i guess, so this was one of the time that she felt wordless, then her face started to change, from plain face to BLACK LONG face......

Moreover, we were then sitting on the same table having lunch, judging from her face, she really got annoyed and i could feel that if i continue her tears will start to flow , and that was when i started to repent.. jeez... for so long i knew her... didnt see her like this, i guess she really cant stand me *asking her to treat me *.... well, she did recover eventually after much persuasion, soft talk and etc.

After leaving midvalley, the moment was just running through my mind. re-wind, and re-wind again. You really cant change someone thinking in just 5 min. especially girls. But i think i went over the limit also, i shouldnt have, at least she could at least do not feel so bad....  haihz... i realli do not know... until now i still cant get over it... well, i guess i will just ignore it ....

p/s, in the end i still picked up the bill.... Haihz. Suppose to be a nice day but because of myself it turns out to be one of the most horrible day that i have to endure...

Afraid

After a conversation today... i felt that i'm starting to change...

Every words that comes out from my mouth, its becoming more stinging. Every terms i use, i applied harshness and full of sarcasm.

I really do not know what and how it happened. They say everything happens for a reason. But i cant find a reason for this change. I really do not want to remember what they said to me. The miao man and team. Hahaha......

I cant sleep again, the insomia is getting back to me after i recovered from my bad cough,. flu and fever that lasted for nearly a week. I hope it doesnt come looking for me again.. because i really do not want to welcome him.

With every sentence that i blurted out during the 1 hour conversation. Nothing but stinging words and sarcasm. Nothing was left.

The most horrible part that i could think of is, if i go on like this, i will be afraid of myself.

Deep Thoughts.....

How much value do i worth to the community?

How much do i contribute to the community?

How much can i offer to the community?

How useless i am?

How efficient i am?

I've been day dreaming too much.....

Sad, awful and worst, dissapointed.

This few days, i have been bugged by unnecessary stress...

What i do, i cant get the agreement of everyone. What i say, its either pain to the ear or nonsense, what i think of, its either useless or make no-sense.

Its so hard to please everyone. I dont know what can i do anymore. I cant keep going on like this. Hiding all the sorrows inside my small little heart has taken a toll on me. I started having nightmares, i started having insomia, worst, i even lost my appetite...

I tried to put up a plan, but it doesnt seem to go so well, i tried alternating it, but i got bad remarks on it instead. I try A, B, C, D, E, instead i get Z, Y, X, W, V. .....

I want to talk to someone, but i dont know who to call.. i dont know who to disturb.. Surely no one wants to listen to negative things, humans prefer happiness instead of sorrows....

I always say if u wish upon the sky, make sure there is a lot of star's, or your dream wont come true, because there is too many people and just a few star cant able to fulfill anyone wishes.. but tonight.. there is no STAR insight at all.. which makes me feel more dissapointed.... sweet dreams.... its really very awful...